Why precisely do you think killing people will help your current situation? Doesn't the Bible condemn murder?
Nobody said you had to agree to any exchanges for help. I'm not sure where you got that idea from.
None of the Holy Men I've read about commited suicide, that sounds more like something from a pagan eastern religion like Buddhism. Not something a Christian should engage in.
Who precisely is "they" and what work are they making you do? An office Job, physical labor? Neither of those seem like they'd be intrinsically evil or harmful.
I say you should try reading the early Church Fathers and your Bible. Pray to your guardian angel for guidance, and don't ask anons on 8chan for help. Most of them are either trolls are bots that really won't do anything to help you.
Stay safe and be sure CALL somebody if you have any inclination to harm yourself or others.
God bless.