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/hikki/ - Hikikomori

The modern hermit

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A WARNING TO ALL NEW USERS IF YOU ARE NOT A HIKIKOMORI I WILL BAN YOU!! People who are going to work or school are not Hikikomori There are many people on here who can not leave their home Please choose your topic with consideration IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AT HOME INSIDE YOUR ROOM FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS OR MORE THEN DON'T POST HERE!

File: 3f5a65cde72a831⋯.jpg (90.09 KB,634x846,317:423,cat.jpg)

fb4410 No.6663 [Open Thread]

>be me going to aldi for groceries

>see woman I was at mental hospital with

>try to hide

>she sees me anyways

>tries to talk to me

>nope.opus

>skedaddle out of there

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fb4410 No.6667

>>6665

that's always a rough one

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a61254 No.6692

>>6665

happened to me too.

had to climb from balcony to balcony on the second floor to get back inside

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7029fa No.6706

>>6692

Spider-hikki

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6805f0 No.6707

>>6692

>>6706

Reminds me of the anon that used to climb out of his window and back up for snacks in order to avoid people.

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9bff0d No.6716

>>6674

My original key was damaged and this was the occasion that it finally stopped working. I called the letting's agency, and had them drop off the only spare key. While I waited outside, some kids (this is in a really bad part of town, cheap though) kicked a puddle of water at me and ran off.

>>6692

That sounds great, if a little bit dangerous.

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File: d3af1de52732c70⋯.jpg (109.59 KB,907x907,1:1,xgreek-mythology-dionysus.….jpg)

d70557 No.6416 [Open Thread]

What do you think the point of no return is for us?

How long do we need to be in our rooms for it to be too late to rejoin society when our family dies? I can see no other path other than getting neetbuxs, if that's even possible for me. Otherwise being homeless is my destiny.

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be4a29 No.6482

I'd kill myself before trying to return to normal life, and couldn't be a homeless because I don't have any confidence to steal or beg.

My plan b, where I don't kill myself, is going to the south (in my country) and just try to live off the nature in a remote forest, I mean like an hermit. I shared this idea with a psychologist once but she told me it's "schizophrenic" to live alone like that.

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e853b8 No.6487

>>6482

>I'd kill myself before trying to return to normal life, and couldn't be a homeless because I don't have any confidence to steal or beg.

I basically am the same way anon.

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8007b0 No.6490

>>6482

>My plan b, where I don't kill myself, is going to the south (in my country) and just try to live off the nature in a remote forest, I mean like an hermit.

I've fantasized about that too, when I was still back in school (though I was ostracized even back then). Hermit life always looked so peaceful. Just you by yourself, no disturbances, sitting by a pond and watching the beauty of nature, maybe with a wooden cane or something and a cozy little cabin in the woods with a fireplace. I'd have a dog, maybe, and we'd go hiking together everyday.

I actually started thinking up plans, but there was the problem of just finding enough food to eat and having to hunt things, survive the winter when the animals are hibernating and the plants don't grow, and then there's things I'd need like medicine if I get an infection, and bullets to hunt with, I could never get that from nature. There are some pretty big animals out there too, and I'd probably get mauled by a bear or something if I tried it, especially if I was carrying fresh hunted game.

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36ee2d No.6671

>>6418

>Probably everything past late 20s.

>>6426

>Problem is that our situation is very long and incredibly hard process to recover from and that there is really no reason to escape from it outside of being forced to.

>When you have your basic needs taken care of, why would you care about mindlessly working or rejoining the cesspool of society?

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36ee2d No.6672

>>6671

That said, I believe in a deterministic view of the hikikomori life: the "hikikomori personality" is in the DNA; sooner or later in your life you will become a hikikomori.

In this respect, the point of no return is when you are born.

There is no real social environment where such a personality would do well. I've had a pretty good childhood and now I'm a recluse anyway.

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File: 05604783f3f4410⋯.jpg (55.87 KB,222x277,222:277,0e0896867cc719ea18ed43f7cb….jpg)

0620f4 No.6497 [Open Thread]

Sometimes I randomly get nostalgia for times as close as a few months ago, sometimes for years ago. 2016 was a really comfy time for me.

What time do you have nostalgia for?

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18f173 No.6578

File: b7d28d633ffe928⋯.jpg (1.59 MB,2864x3877,2864:3877,Armor_of_Henry_II,_King_of….jpg)

>>6571

Good response, but anime is the true miracle here. You don't seem to have a full appreciation of nature's greatest accomplishment.

>Its in an empathy borne of much suffering on my part

I know how it is to feel too much empathy for your own good, to the point that it becomes self-destructive. I kinda had to learn to control how much of it I feel, and only apply it to people that I think I could actually like, but not everyone on the planet. Originally I tried to suppress it completely and avoid those feelings entirely, but that doesn't work either. You can't just not feel anything, that's not healthy either. Now I try to avoid feeling it more than I should depending on the situation. I feel it here, but I won't necessarily feel it somewhere else on the internet. Not that I have mastered this, of course. Sometimes I still mess up.

>>6574

I'm cool with your views, I don't care about debating these things anymore because it's clearly a waste of time (it was useful before I got to where I am now, but this seems to be the end of the line). But I don't believe that Jesus actually existed, not the one that Christians actually believe in, though there were many similar people all over the planet. So, in a way, there was no Jesus, but there was also a bunch of Jesuses (also some inverted evil Jesuses). Socrates was a Jesus. It's generic to say this, but Buddha was also a Jesus. Every single Jesus in history would hate Christianity (even some Christian versions of Jesus). A lot of people embodied that sort of archetype, and none of them were too fond of religion in general. Everything valuable about Christianity (and Judaism itself, and of course, there is very little of it) either comes from ancient religions (a lot of it looks like it came from the Sumerians, and that part of it is pretty neat) or isn't exclusive to it at all, to the point that it was everywhere from the beginning.

It has nice and interesting stuff, but it's an even worse version of Judaism that isn't even tied to race, iPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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12ad43 No.6581

>>6574

>>6578

Your perspectives are interesting. There's a christian sect out west in the US that has a more richly developed concept of matter, dark matter, intelligence as a property of matter, the importance of thought and free agency to put thought to action, and doesn't think that more than a handful of people in all of time have made it into hell (so no fearmongering to control). I've been reading about them and chatted with their missionaries online and they seem very respectful of my beliefs.

I wonder if it's possible with the access we have to so many religious traditions and sources of light and knowledge that someone could get it all right. Or at least, right enough.

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127d31 No.6586

File: c7397dc537f8354⋯.gif (3.81 MB,720x404,180:101,thumbs_up_knight.gif)

>>6578

>You can believe the craziest shit imaginable and I can be fine with that as long as it's interesting and constructive, and even better if I have never heard it before.

It might surprise you, but I feel more or less the same way. I only take umbrage at beliefs that are dedicated to erasing culture and destroying civilization; reducing men to animals. Judaism is the single greatest example of such that I'm aware of, and I do everything I can to dispel the illusions that keep it alive and in power.

For example, I know that by "Judaism" you're referring to the ancient religion of the Jews, but Judaism was actually created in 70 AD by the Pharisees (who currently call themselves "Rabbinic Jews", "Orthodox Jews", "Atheist Jews", and whatever other labels they can disguise themselves with). Judaism and its practitioners had nothing to do with Jews except as infiltrators and adversaries, such as when they tried to murder/usurp Moses and convert the Jews to worship of Baal.

If you're interested (or if you'd just like to be able to convince random Christians that Israel is not, in fact, their greatest ally), I recommend Michael A. Hoffman's book "Judaism's Strange Gods". I think /zundel/'s MEGA backup has a PDF of it, and I have a copy of that stored somewhere (although it's not the revised and expanded edition which includes more information, e.g. an overview of Moshe de Leon's Pa.R.De.S. system). It's an excellent detailed analysis of the Babylonian Talmud; the only flaw is that for whatever reason, Hoffman is unable to think of Adolf Hitler as anything but a villain.

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18f173 No.6587

File: 76850db356aaaa4⋯.jpg (80.5 KB,600x451,600:451,3e420bab977241e7cdf256971c….jpg)

File: 446054341dd8424⋯.jpg (233.34 KB,1600x791,1600:791,White-dog-1.jpg)

>>6581

>I wonder if it's possible with the access we have to so many religious traditions and sources of light and knowledge that someone could get it all right. Or at least, right enough.

I don't feel the need for something like that. Only the masses do. No real need for a rigid system to commit to.

>>6586

>I only take umbrage at beliefs that are dedicated to erasing culture and destroying civilization; reducing men to animals.

That's pretty much my view. Creative chaos is probably my general preference, and I hate destruction and would rather avoid it, that's basically what I like. I don't care enough about the details of who was who, because that doesn't change who exactly I despise. I am aware that the Jews actually rewrote some of their history and intentionally destroyed important records in the past, and maybe that's related to way you say. Hell, I'm pretty sure that it's basically factual that they were never enslaved by the Egyptians (since the Egyptians themselves never recorded that), and that's a pretty foundational story in their history. I did read about that a long time ago. I don't remember the details, but I know enough to be able to assume that a lot of their supposed history was completely designed for their convenience just like the Soviets made up so much about the NatSocs. And of course, sometimes one groups steals another group's name or identity, that does happen. The Byzantines considered themselves Romans. I say that's ludicrous and they were just larping. Romans were not Christians.

A lot of history can just be assumed to be possibly fake anyway, since liars and propagandists (people in the media and in education are propagandists, and a some of these people will presumably be the ones to write the official history of the 21st century) have always existed, and we can see today that there is a huge amount of them and people in the future will probably be wrong about our own current history as well, just like people today have a completely fucked up view of ancient history because of thPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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de400f No.6597

I have nostalgia for when I was married. My wives were really sweet and accepting. It helps that I wasn't a hikki when I met either of them. I was failing my way through junior college with the first and then I lyed my way into the second. Shiz was tight. Stayed at home while they worked and had sex when they came home. after the second failure I retreated into my head and have been home for a long time.

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File: 15c84c545844457⋯.jpg (233.4 KB,659x806,659:806,15c84c54584445783a05b9ae0c….jpg)

8f76f1 No.6436 [Open Thread]

How do you not feel stress? I have been hikki/neet for two years last few months everything gets me mad I can't play games listen to music or even browse chan boards lately without feeling some sort of stress. It's getting to the point where I am more patchy than my father and just pushing my hands through my hair leads to hair coming out. I have even lost about eighteen pounds but eat without being conscious of health or working out. How to calm down?

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971ecb No.6437

Whenever you wake up, stayed laid on the bed a little and take deep breaths. Walk outside in a non crowded area for like an hour each day and breath calmly.

Everytime you feel stressed, stop anything you are doing and have a constant breathing rythm. If you do that, you will be all set.

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601bba No.6452

>>6436

if your hair is coming out, and you have also lost that much weight, you might have a vitamin/nutrient deficiency, or perhaps a thyroid problem

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8bf226 No.6480

I work out. I do pullups, pushups, that kind of stuff. Been here for like 10 years and these last 2 it's been pretty stressful because I can't stay alone at home anymore. It feels like prison.

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File: f341db1cd42f8b6⋯.jpg (105.54 KB,1190x793,1190:793,japan-hikikomori-Hiroki-Ch….jpg)

14849b No.6086 [Open Thread]

What do you guys do to keep yourselves from being bored all day? i honestly feel like i've done everything.

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e07bee No.6409

>>6400

I tried watching some dramas a few years ago, but i only watched 1 to completion (my boss my hero)

I liked the yakuza aspect of it more than then high school stuff, but the comedy was good as well. might give it a rewatch honestly, i have fond memories of it

I'll check out that site though. thanks anon

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13d8ee No.6441

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Masturbate, read books and watch videos on youtube. I used to be able to watch anime, movies and tv shows but can't be bothered to anymore.

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4a18c4 No.6442

>>6441

Sounds like a usual day of mine anon did you just happen to lose interest in anime and movies?

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c130ab No.6446

File: ba8a37c0cb140f9⋯.jpg (332.61 KB,1400x1033,1400:1033,I Am a Hero - I Am a Hero ….jpg)

>>6086

i like to read manga, and listen to music

recently ive been listening to a lot of Type O Negative, and reading I Am A Hero

seinen with depressing main characters are my favorites

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4a18c4 No.6460

File: 0cbd36af11d245b⋯.jpg (774.43 KB,1528x2351,1528:2351,91n2qACDIIL.jpg)

>>6446

>i like to read manga,

Same here i recently started reading Yotsuba currently on the second volume.

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File: 2b6d75e37ec5cfb⋯.jpg (194.87 KB,1100x734,550:367,GlassBlowing0077c.jpg)

f1fd30 No.164 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

It's often that hikki and NEET talk about learning things and becoming smarter while being shut in. I fell for this mindset too but in hindsight it was shallow and pseudo-intellectual garbage. I went through a science/STEM atheism neckbeard phase.

I did the programming thing for years but didn't advance far enough to be able to do real world things with it. Now I have lost the drive to learn more. The idea that all technology is fun no longer appeals to me because it's impossible to know everything. Only a surface level knowledge of many things is not useful. I lack the focus and intelligence to get deep into a topic like become proficient at solving those hard programming tests on leetcode or hackerrank.

I learned a bit of some obscure language (but now forgotten it). I was able to watch Youtube videos at slow speed and understand basic things. It was never put into practice because people who use that language are so rare. It's also useless to me anyways on account of the whole shut in thing. I won't be using it in real life ever.

So ultimately what did I spend time on these things for. I have lost faith in the self learning thing.

What things have you learned that you have been able to put into practice?

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dd6acc No.6361

Reading fiction, reading philosophy, learning how to daytrade cryptocurrencies and trading everyday to make profit. Learned to program with several new languages, including Go which is swiftly becoming my new all time favorite language to use. Already taught myself how to build entire websites with it from scratch. I was a professional software developer working for a major US bank before becoming a hikki so I'm looking to learn more modern technology stacks and stay the fuck out of the banking field forever. I hate banks so much with all their stupid KYC/AML bullshit. I hope to get in at a cool startup or something. I would also highly prefer to work remotely now that I'm so comfortable with staying inside… Trying to get more sources of income. I get $700 a week from NEETBUX which is enough for food and rent and bills but it doesn't give me a lot to save up and invest with. Just trying to make money so I can be a millionaire and buy a nice secluded house one day.

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6e247f No.6368

>>6361

I work at a "cool startup" that lets me work from home (though I'm only 30 minutes from the office). Great thing about hikki is I can save almost all of my money (my only hobbies are reading literature and reading manga, along with some small programming projects for fun) and theoretically I could retire at around 32 if I put all my savings at a 3% interest rate, which gives me around $40k a year off interest. I don't like thinking about money too much so I haven't looked into investing at all. I don't think I'd be that great at it though. All that said none of it really helps with my depression/what's-the-point-of-it-all mentality.

My advice to you is if you want a remote job go on hackernews who is hiring threads and ctrl-f for REMOTE. They are surprisingly common and well-paying, but as you know the interviews can be very challenging.

Cool to see another lit/cs person here. I used to be into philosophy in college but never really liked it, other than some select ones like the Stoics and Daoists. Russell/Ayer/Frege/etc are cool too.

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dd6acc No.6371

>>6368

Thanks. I guess I'll check out HN for remote jobs. Never tried to do that before. Haven't been on that site in a while. Been out of work for a while and the neetbux will stop coming eventually

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dd6acc No.6372

>>6368

The Stoics are my favorite, btw, Anon.

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5d0039 No.6392

>>409

>learning about philosophy and literature

>useful for practical application

If you had said something like sewing, cooking, or woodworking it would have been regrettable, but the only thing you missed through reading novels instead is the ability to act snobbish about your knowledge.

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File: 6e1fdde644b3cd0⋯.jpg (917.17 KB,750x1039,750:1039,1Vl8PZ6.jpg)

81980c No.6 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

Who here has found inner peace whilst being a hikki?

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8c3d13 No.6327

>>6325

>I haven't been a hikki for as long as some of you I'm sure but I feel like I have, yes.

How long have you been a hikikomori anon?

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02e23e No.6328

I feel at peace when nobody's around and actually love being alone, so I kinda have. Unfortunately I have to mooch off my parents and that trumps my happiness so Im working towards a viable hermit life with wifi

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8c3d13 No.6344

File: 57edc53b5fb3fa5⋯.jpg (50.28 KB,420x514,210:257,57edc53b5fb3fa568750b47c49….jpg)

>>6328

>I'm working towards a viable hermit life with wifi

Sounds comfy anon.

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35e31a No.6345

>>6327

about 7 months now

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aac871 No.6347

The portion of people in online suicide communities who are NEET is astounding. I wonder if it can be anything more than a local maximum.

Everyone should get sabbaticals in life too though. There are people who never get to spend 6 months, 3 months, or even 1 month to themselves in their whole lives.

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File: 176546d62c1e9d5⋯.jpg (609.31 KB,1600x1059,1600:1059,2uA9S.jpg)

d8e0d6 No.4138 [Open Thread]

My mom is starting to push the idea of being committed. So much so that she's going with me on my medication appointment. I'm kind of open to the idea as it'd allow me to get neetbux a bit easier but I doubt it's actual usefulness. I'll just get drugged out of my mind for 3-4 days.

Thoughts?

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b208bf No.5762

>>5760

The competent people know, but can never do anything about it because of the other millions of people causing the problems and making them worse. Good humans have always been the minority. Most people are either mediocre and enabling or actively evil and destructive. But it's not just that, everything is broken, and everything is to blame. It's the same thing in all professions, no matter how important they may be. I don't think this is different in other countries since that seems to be the case for other things everywhere. This is all proof that normal people are actually crazy as well, and actual sanity isn't very common. Society is driving people to insanity and they can't even see that it's happening. The only thing to do is to try to save yourself and a few other people are hope that the normalfags lead the species to extinction, for its own good.

I have never been in that kind of situation, so I wouldn't know anything from personal experience, but I always hear this kind of thing from people that I assume are Americans and from people that I know are Americans, but I heard your story multiple times, actually. It's pretty common, and depending on the situation, you may end up having to deal with enough sensory deprivation to actually push you over the edge into actual insanity. You are not even allowed to die. I understand keeping someone from committing suicide, but even that becomes a cruelty when you are practically torturing them by placing them in an environment that isn't suitable for humans, with nothing to do.

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1455f1 No.5763

>>5760

>in America it is one step above prison

when I was in one, there were a few ex cons in as well and they all said they'd rather be in a prison rather than the mental hospital

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222957 No.5786

I actually liked being in crazy jail. You basically just watch TV and drink coffee waiting for the next meal.

but if privacy is a major concern for you then you're fucked because it will be hell for you

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749e9b No.5791

File: dbd677886fd6ac1⋯.jpg (75.09 KB,636x960,53:80,asylum-46947.jpg)

It's never been necessary to commit me.

There have been some times when I seriously thought about it, but I've just been given some benzos to calm me down and I waited in the mental hospital waiting room until I was feeling a bit better, then I got back home.

I never liked the idea of staying there, here in Europe it's not that bad, but it still is a pain to sleep far from home, etc.

My medical case, although serious enough that I'm a hikki, is not that serious to require occasional hospitalizations.

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5e56bf No.6246

>>5786

>drink coffee

We only had decaffeinated slurry water. You had to drink four or five cups to feel the effects

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File: 5a96612db7f75ae⋯.jpg (64.59 KB,550x400,11:8,oystermouth-castle.jpg)

58fdb8 No.2350 [Open Thread]

Have you ever verbalized it at all?

I had an insurance mandated medical examination yesterday. The second question was about my professional history, and since it's unusual and the thought of having to explain, once more, made me agitated I just said it: "I have not really left my home in 15 years! And I am socially isolated. … I buy groceries, I see a doctor four times a year, I am friendly and helpful towards my neighbors if they need something, but that's it. That's why we are here today."

That hit me hard. I never said anything like it before. I never even thought about it this way. Sure, I've said "I don't get out much." or "I am homebound, anyway." But I never verbalized that I have been isolated in my home for many, many years.

There is nothing else here. I just wanted to share the story, and am curious how other people think and talk, or don't, about their situation.

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610e71 No.5899

>>5894

Are you in Japan? How's therapy going?

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610e71 No.5901

>>5897

> he had the typical oh just get over it normalfag type of attitude but anyway i'm glad i stopped going.

It's sad how many therapists treat their job like its a pasttime they indulge in whenever they feel like it, and for everyone else they're just stalling for time until the end of the session so they can charge you that sweet $$$$$

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c5955b No.5903

>>2350

I talked to a therapist, but I didn't use the word hikikomori. Just listed all the symptoms of autism that I have, and by that I mean that I listed almost every imaginable symptom.

>>5901

They are about as incompetent as the average human tends to be. And that means completely incompetent. In order to feel better, people like to assume that most professionals and authority figures know what they're doing, and that keeps them from losing faith in society, and therefore keeps society from collapsing. In reality, this isn't the truth at all. No matter what they do, no matter how important it is, people tend to be more incompetent than you want to imagine. Finding a good therapist (or just one that does whatever happens to be necessary) can take a few tries.

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2e1b04 No.5913

>>5897

>Is he/she a good therapist

Yes. Still not helpful though because I'm a lost cause.

Yes, I've read in another thread about your 70 years old therapist. It amuses me that you went there more than one time. An old dude who doesn't use a computer can't know a thing about modern world problems. If you ever consider going to therapy again, try to find at least a young one. i tried other three therapists before finding this one, it's not that easy.

>>5899

I'm in Europe. I've abandoned therapy because I'm a lost cause, I feel like an alien amongst others and I have no purpose in life and this will never change, I can only distract myself.

I went outside and met people though, but it's useless, so I'm back into my nest. My problem is not much anxiety, it's more about a neverending existential crisis.

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8774a6 No.6188

File: de0dea30cb2e42b⋯.png (313.01 KB,713x402,713:402,e1f6842030970af832e6381c6e….png)

>>5913

> Still not helpful though because I'm a lost cause.

I understand that pretty much at this point that's how i feel about myself as well.

>I've read in another thread about your 70 years old therapist. It amuses me that you went there more than one time.

He was a bad therapist but going did give me at least something to do so i wasn't sitting in my room 24/7 and sleeping in bed for 14 hours a day.

>An old dude who doesn't use a computer can't know a thing about modern world problems

Oh i completely agree with you and that's why i stopped going altogether because i just got so fed up with him.

>If you ever consider going to therapy again, try to find at least a young one

I don't think i will be going back anytime soon but if i ever do i will keep this in mind thanks anon.

>I tried other three therapists before finding this one, it's not that easy

Damn anon it's hard for me to trust other people i don't know if i could do that.

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File: 9bf93d3aec95f01⋯.png (146.35 KB,396x385,36:35,1469484752074.png)

da6019 No.1484 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

Hey /hikki/, I thought since fall is here and winter is right around the corner, we could talk about things that we like and dislike about this time of year.

I love fall and winter, it's my favorite time of year. Here are some of my favorite things about it:

>bundling up in blankets

>sipping hot tea/coco/coffee

>gettin' comfy

>less guilt about not going outside, since most people don't go out in cold weather

>watching the leaves/snow fall outside your window

>less noise from outside because everyone is indoors

What are your favorite things about fall and winter, /hikki/?

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399ef5 No.6100

I live in an area (no worries, no dox) where its pretty warm for 8+ months every year, but it gets nice and cold during the winter. My anxiety is still pretty bad, and after a few incidents when i was in my teens, I alway carry weapons and a first aid kit, plus some other supplies like a blindingly bright flashlight, firestarting kit, electric handwarmers, swiss army knife, Cell Phone car and wall charger, battery bank on me.

I can only conceal all the stuff it takes to feel comfortable enough to go out under winter clothing. BUT theres this cozy diner that doesnt have a lot of space, and is open 24/7 even in the winter. Its a family business and they know my family and Im relatively comfy towards them so they, understanding, leave me be in the coziest corner of the diner. I bring a tablet or laptop after its properly dark, they fill up my thermoses with cold water, i make flavoraid, and I browse the internet and play games all night.

Last year I played a lot of hotline miami 1&2, some of the oldest 3d Dungeons and dragons games, Zork series, Anchorhead (and IF game like zork), and a bunch of emulated games, including 2d zelda and pokemon. I'd sometimes call ahead with an order, but usually I'd bring a sandwhich and chips. I can't wait for winter, so I can get out of this freaking room

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399ef5 No.6101

>>6100

and I should add that almost nobody goes to that diner during the winter, so they dont leave the grill on. Anyone who does come in can get cold sandwiches or microwaved food, and hot drinks. and the waitress seats the at the other side of the restaurant where they cant see me.

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8e641b No.6130

>>6101

>>6100

That sounds really comfy anon. The owners seem really nice too. What kind of games are you planning on playing this time?

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a93f8e No.6146

>>6130

Interactive fiction. Anchorhead is really cozy with a track of rain sounds in the background.

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56c91c No.6152

>>6146

Those games where you play by typing words in and the game tells responds with part of a story are awesome if you like that kind of thing. dound super comfy tbh. I wish I had a situation like yours.

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File: 0a2b8e7e396604f⋯.jpg (200.94 KB,1600x1200,4:3,0a2b8e7e396604f991bedccf7d….jpg)

8c8e95 No.5155 [Open Thread]

When and where do you think you're going to die anon? What are your last emotions going to be? What will be your final thought? Will you be happy with what you've done in life? I've been thinking about this a lot I feel like my time is coming soon.

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c1aaf2 No.5509

>>5501

>mountains

I also always wanted to die somewhere where you have a good view

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aa6232 No.5511

>>5484

Did the game cause it? Story time?

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b7b137 No.5950

>>5511

Sorry for the super late reply.

No, but you realize what the hell you're doing with your life and you fall into deep depression.

Trying to make a videogame is depressing enough if you're a NEET with no social life, but making a porn game is ten times worse.

These kind of things can only be done by men who actually have a life, otherwise when you look at yourself you see an embarrassing looser who's trying to make a porn game to cope with his virginity.

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653ddc No.5953

File: e22a677f18579f7⋯.jpg (86.42 KB,767x1200,767:1200,176.jpg)

>>5155

>When and where do you think you're going to die anon?

Probably my room. Everything else is unpredictable since I have no intention of killing myself at this point, and I'm against that in general, unless you are going to be physically crippled, because life is actually not that difficult to enjoy and you don't concretely need anything in order to enjoy it, since all the requirements in your head can easily be changed and are just a product of the world that you're currently in, and your own mindset. At worst, you will be Diogenes, and even Alexander the Great wanted to be Diogenes. Once you have failed enough, you can deal with most things in life, even if you have to do it through complete apathy. The secret of invulnerability is failure. An invincible man is a man that has been defeated in every possible and conceivable way so many times that he has become immune to failure and can't even feel pain anymore.

I like living like this for the most part, so that's what I want to keep doing, if possible. By society's standards, I am a complete loser, but I know what I am, and I know what society is, and I know I dislike it, so I don't care. That kind of failure is more of a trophy, in my mind. Wouldn't be too bad to die right now, but I do want to do more things, as many as possible, as close to experiencing everything as I can. I'm going to die eventually, so I can just wait for that. It's not as much of a big deal to me, because death isn't too much of a mystery, since I believe I actually have a decent understanding of it, and it's practically meaningless to me, because I understand that I am immortal and will live on regardless, in a weird way, even if this physical vessel can't truly perceive the full extent of that. Technical immortality is the best kind of immortality, since I don't have to be aware of all the horrors that exist out there. There are parts of me inside of you right now, so don't kill yourself. We are connected, so if you hurt yourself, you hurt me, to some extent. And it's kind of a waste.

Overall, I would rather not see my own death coming unless I have to sacrifice myself for something, or get my hands on the nuclear button, becausPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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ca68fa No.5954

>>5155

>When and where do you think you're going to die anon?

I'm constantly teetering on the edge between getting my life together and killing myself. If I do kill myself, it'll be either jumping off a bridge with the clothes on my back, or jumping off a cliff on a famous mountain somewhere if I can bring myself to travel for it.

I figure if I'm going to commit suicide, I may as well do it somewhere spectacular wearing a 3 piece suit, but I feel exhausted just thinking about it. But on the other hand I don't really want to kill myself just in any old way, it feels wrong somehow, like I'm infringing on something.

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File: 70acbf7eb7c408a⋯.jpg (100.8 KB,1440x1080,4:3,sad-08.jpg)

6a5ec0 No.270 [Open Thread]

This might be a little bit long to read for anyone and I might contradict into saying stuff but I don't really have anywhere else to talk about this, so whatever.

I've tried many times. I'm done. I can't stand people most of the time anyways. This one person is right. I push people away. People don't know why I get upset and when I do convey my angry feelings, there are no more further responses. I mean, why bother? We really don't give a shit about each other and if we do, we're only pretending to be nice. When we're pretending to be nice, we're only fooling ourselves time after time. Doing something like that is doing it out of charity and it sucks ass. I can't help to think that there are people out there who either look for reassurances or become condescending towards others. Maybe even both. It's tiresome and it's annoying. It may not supposed to be a problem for me in the first place and I shouldn't care otherwise but I linger to the fact that this is the world I'm living in and I have to deal with it one way or the other.

People. I tried my best to try to be friendly but it never works out in the end. I try to message other people but nothing. I don't know if it's because I have a boring ass personality or that I've said something weird or wrong or something. I lived a long life as a hikikomori and let me tell you that people are the problem. It's not because you don't have friends. It's not because your family shuns you. It's not because you can't have a relationship with someone who can put up with your shit. It's not because you couldn't fathom that one part because you couldn't understand it too well. It's people. It's you, it's me, it's all of us. It's an inevitable problem to no solution and we're stuck with it until we die.

I don't know whether I should give up again or try harder to make friends or even bother to get my shit together. Every time I try to think about them, I fall back and thought: Fuck that shit. We're shut-ins because have problems that "normal" people can't and won't understand our situation. They say stupid shit but it's easier said than done. They mock the real hikis because they're think they're so better than them. They think they're at that point in their lives where they're content enough about their day-to-day lPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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50148f No.2026

File: abdb67d39031ea7⋯.jpg (50 KB,492x633,164:211,satou smoking.jpg)

>>2018

>I think I want to cling onto hope. Even though there actually isn't for any of us. I still want to think that there is somehow to turn this around for the better. Some are happy with the shut-in lifestyle but like I said before, I really think there's more to it in life. Kinda difficult to explain in my own words about how I see things and all but I want to improve somehow. I know this may sound like I'm just talking it out my ass for this but I at least talking about it might make something out of it for myself.

>I thought about trying out college. Maybe next year in Spring or Summer. I know, next year but I really have to do something for myself. I can't stand another year of this.

Good luck anon my suggestion is to try and keep pushing yourself so you don't drop out and end up back in the hikki lifestyle but i guess only time will tell.

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17aec2 No.2046

>>2018

Just make sure to actually check all the classes you need for the major you want for attendance requirements.

I'm currently stuck 3/4ths through university because only the classes with attendance requirements are left and I have a really hard time of going there. Don't be me.

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4366e1 No.5919

Still a fucking hikikomori and we're down to half a year already. Trying to get a job at 30 and it just ultimately gets difficult by the day. Sorry for my blogpost but I got no where to post this and I'm kinda hoping that at least someone read this anyways. I'm dreading to becoming 31 at the end of the year. I told myself before that I was going to really recover from this shit lifestyle but I've always withdrawn back to my man cave and keep on gaming. Had another fight, this time with my cousin. Was ready to take this guy out because of all the anger I've built up over the years. Was really sick and tired of his shit. Especially with his big mouth. I don't understand kids like him and always seem to look like they know everything.

All I've been doing is more gaming. I know I've said so many times that I despised discord so much but I keep coming back to it. Maybe I'm still looking for people to chat with. Just to simply chat with. It doesn't even have to be something I can relate to but to just try to understand each other for the better and learn anything new along the way. I realized too late that the memespeak is very heavy with the younger people. Sometimes I can't tell if they're being genuine or not. Maybe it's to hide their seriousness or maybe they don't want to be serious? Just be playful most of the time? Idk, seems childish to me but whatever floats their boat. Was hating on that for awhile but too tired to do so anymore. Another thing to let it be and move on. I really wish there is someone I can just chat online with every other day. I've got a buddy irl but I kinda want a couple more at least to go by.

When you realized that getting online friends is as difficult as getting friends irl as well. There is this guy that joined a hiki discord server. Some fallout happened and voila, another fucking hiki server was born. So I go there, thinking this might be alright but it's another shitshow. Every single fucking time a hiki/neet server is created, it's just another safe space. A hug box or whatever you call it. It may be the case nowadays but all I'm really after is just a nice friendly chat and feel good at the end of the day. Just want that kind of positive feeling. I don't want to got to that route where people create false positive energy and spread it around like we're jocks and cheerleaders forPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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2ed159 No.5920

File: 707fa800813dd44⋯.jpg (27.39 KB,640x360,16:9,1399865177483.jpg)

>>5919

>The lack of consideration is what I hate in a lot of people

Fucking this. My entire life have I always tried my best to be considerate of others, yet I can count on one hand the times that same consideration has been returned.

Don't give up just yet, perhaps going straight for a job is a bad idea. Taking baby steps like going out into public areas and gradually re-learn to socialize with people, even strangers, may be a better course of action before you go apply for whatever job you can get, hating it, and relapsing. Taking it one step at a time seems to me like it'd be better suited for long term success in getting out of this life style. I haven't tried this myself, but I am a bit of a hypocrite and lost hope of getting out of my room a while ago.

>I'm dreading to becoming 31 at the end of the year.

I'm a few years younger than you, but my birthday is coming up in a week and I know what you mean. It's a shitty feeling.

Anyways I wish you the best of luck, anon, and as cheesy as it sounds I have faith in every hikki here that they can break free of this lifestyle as long as they really want it to happen and don't give up on trying different things.

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fc29dc No.5924

File: 48922e37690a529⋯.png (97.35 KB,1184x389,1184:389,Ted Kaczynski - The Power ….png)

The world was once a place of small, self-sufficient communities of like-minded people. Everyone in the communities knew each other, trusted each other, could rely on each other. Doors didn't need locks.

But the capability of the world to foster an environment that supports its inhabitants has been systematically dismantled. Like-minded individuals are scattered to the wind. People live in cities of thousands or tens of thousands. The mutual trust everyone needs to function no longer exists. Food, water, and shelter (or the money to obtain them) are obtained solely at the whim of massive, uncaring international organizations (whether corporate or political, there's not much difference).

To put it simply: you are not broken, the world is broken.

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File: 6ddfd18d3a74cae⋯.jpg (85.29 KB,736x1013,736:1013,nhk art pic.jpg)

64d097 No.97 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

What were the reasons that made you become a hikikomori? for me its the following.

>Be bullied throughout both middle school and high school for having autism and being myself

>Lots of drama going on inside family home (Will not go into detail)

>Socially awkward

>Hate going outside

>Do not agree with a lot of things in this society.

>Feel betrayed by own age peers because i was not socially accepted by them

>Shit parents (Still love them to an extent though)

>Closeted pedophile (Could never tell my parents i dont wanna be disowned for an attraction i did not choose)

>To red pilled about the world to live a normalfag lifestyle i guess thats what happens when you're on the internet 24/7

>Hate most people

>One part of me loves being alone, this part of me loves to get away from everything and everyone.

>Feel protected when inside my room

Those are pretty much my reasons i guess what are your reasons /hikki/??.

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cb6b5b No.5860

>>5857

Thanks anon, that actually means a lot to me.

I remember she trying to shift blame for never telling me that "no one can touch you this way! you must tell me if that ever happens!" because "kindergarden was supposed to teach me that."

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e3f17b No.5862

>>5860

Schools are the way they are in the first place because parents are useless and irresponsible. They selfishly reproduce without considering the consequences, and then send the kids to school and expect everything to be taken care of because they don't want to raise them themselves. The men are negligent idiots that don't think about anything, if they are even present, and women are a bunch of whores that are incapable of being rational to begin with, so of course they won't consider that almost all of their impulses are destructive. There aren't many good parents out there, and I'd say that it's almost impossible to be a good enough parent to justify actually having children, even more so in the present. In fact, having children in the first place is already a crime that is hard to make up for, inherently, in this world. Your mom is a real piece of shit, though. I don't think you will mind if I say that.

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1ec839 No.5867

Got fat. Childhood friends slowly went cold on me during puberty. With no friends I started playing WoW. Gained more weight, stopped caring about the real world. Highschool the depression started. Freshman year of college i started failing classes, not wanting to leave my dorm. I'm 26 now and I've been hikki for at least 3/4ths my adult life. I'd blame being fat first, and second my family history of clinical depression.

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5df02d No.5872

File: 532f09c512a4843⋯.png (3.18 MB,1920x1080,16:9,Tomoko_angry.png)

>>5854

>Get molested. Tell my parents, mom blames me and makes fun of it.

You know like i said in the original post i may be a pedo but holy shit that's just fucked up anon i'm sorry you had to go through that. I honestly hate child molesters with a passion as do most people and your mother sounds like a fucking roastie bitch.

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5df02d No.5873

File: e69105f320141ad⋯.jpg (4.31 KB,300x168,25:14,sato2.jpg)

>>5867

Just out of curiosity what is your weight currently at anon?

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File: 640f5de988243f3⋯.jpg (21.57 KB,620x320,31:16,15879-620x-szskiri.jpg)

2df4be No.644 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

I'm pretty sure the majority of us on here know about Welcome to the NHK. as it's probably the most popular hikki anime but which hikikomori anime character do you relate to the most /hikki/??.

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ad5606 No.5308

Well did you watch kaiji?

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b9003a No.5313

>>5308

>Well did you watch kaiji?

Yes i did start it 2 nights ago i am really enjoying it.

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ad5606 No.5369

>>5313

Let me know when you finish it

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b9003a No.5372

>>5369

>Let me know when you finish it

I definitely will.

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a724a1 No.5806

Hikikomori Anime List.

http://ruijianime.com/main/tag_search_easy.php?tag[]=73

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File: f296ca0d67d4fe3⋯.png (87.71 KB,500x366,250:183,Have a rare pepe _e1be8f19….png)

a442b6 No.419 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

Why are you unhappy /hikki/??.

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0ec491 No.5777

>have been a NEET for like 5 years at this point

>just got out of mental ward

>spent almost 2 weeks there after hurting myself

>don't have a job or any prospects or getting one

>"have you decided to get your drivers license yet"

are you fucking kidding me

it's like they just can't/won't grasp that i'm fucked up

it's like they just assume that i'm just a lazy lovable douche who "lol just can't get his shit together haha"

like i'm some fucking sitcom character

or on the other hand i have family who just treats me like i'm retarded after this incident

as if i'm not even a real person and am just like this thing they're obligated to interact with sometimes

i hate this shit

i hate having to live with my family and i know all too well how awful being homeless is

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afa97c No.5781

All I have in my life are games. Right now my sole purpose in life is to get decent at playing R6S. Pretty fucking sad.

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a14154 No.5795

File: c87c6ac39373cfb⋯.jpg (67.26 KB,500x484,125:121,150932345982.jpg)

>>3082

I know that feels…

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d0f049 No.5801

life is just hell I dunno how else to put it

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1cbda5 No.5802

>>5801

>life is just hell I dunno how else to put it

Very true.

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