No.68902 [View All]
Need some help with your relationship? Feeling unsure about certain aspects of your love? Well this is the right place to ask!
Any question related to waifuism is welcome.
As always, be understanding while giving advice. Waifuism is not easy, especially in its early phases. And even if you don’t have any concrete advice to give, simply showing your empathic concern and moral support can sometimes do just as good.
94 posts and 33 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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No.69705
>>69702
Reliance on big corporate sites is the problem.
I'd be annoyed if my favorite Rika artists were banned off twitter but there's other sites. As long as there's love artists will find alternate websites. Download as much as you can too, if you see a video you like save it. Youtube has been draconian/nonsensical in their censorship for a long time so you shouldn't be surprised at whatever move they make.
If you're worried about owning things like merch and pictures, whatever the law says cops have much more important things to do than chase after illegal drawings. How it goes in my country is a pedo with real porn will get slapped with additional charges if they're in possession of so called underage artwork. That's how the law gets implemented. I've seen instances of them making an example out of someone too, take a 1 in 1000 and take him down for owning a loli real doll. And they'll get you at the border too for trying to import illegal things.
I'm not worried about the UN's moral hand wringing but if you are there's a thread near the top of the /loli/ board talking about legality that might be interesting.
What did you even read that made you so afraid? It's good to be aware of society's views and the law but don't be afraid. The lolicon disease will be eternal. Hell I wouldn't even call Youmu loli. Just relax friend.
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No.69707
>>69705
>Reliance on big corporate sites is the problem.
That's true, but most artists and the whole culture surrounding it are completely reliant on exposure now. Even once popular sites like Pixiv and Seiga seem to be dying because of this. And Pawoo is essentially the worst site I've ever seen for collecting fan art of a specific character.
Sure most Japanese artists probably have a Pawoo account by now, but even they noticed that their audiences didn't follow them there.
An exodus to Pawoo would essentially kill of most of the Japanese fan art culture.
>Download as much as you can too
I have been doing this for years, but limited storage space is a real hindrance, especially when it comes to videos.
There are probably many TBs of videos out there that could be considered worth saving.
>If you're worried about owning things
I think loli/shota has never been that ostracized before. And enforcement in countries where it is illegal already might get worse in the future.
>Hell I wouldn't even call Youmu loli.
Youmu's canonical age and physical maturity is debatable, but I'm fairly certain she's canonically supposed to look like a girl within the age range of 11-13. And to make matters worse, one of Youmu's main characteristics is immaturity.
So she's well within what I consider to be the loli age range at maybe around 8-13.
But due to a certain meme, her general age in fan art has shifted from an even lower age to a higher age of maybe around 14-15 over time.
That being said, nowadays the definition of loli is all over the place, especially in the West. Even a high school girl is considered a loli if she doesn't have huge cow tits.
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No.69708
>>69707
Archival is cheap. The difficulty is keeping track of the copies.
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No.69711
>>69708
What kind of archival do you mean? I don't want to compress my main copy of the data because I regularly browse through the data.
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No.69715
>>69707
>An exodus to Pawoo would essentially kill of most of the Japanese fan art culture.
Some people get hardly any fan art of their beloved. Heck, even if fan art mostly died out you'd still get more than I do now.
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No.69716
>>69711
The kind involving not only compression slowness, but network transfer and tape access slowness.
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No.69717
>>69715
This was more about the future of fan art on an "alternative" website rather than about my waifu in particular.
Platforms like Twitter gave artists huge audiences that had been impossible to reach during the time of personal blogs.
Right now, it's the popularity of artists on Twitter that is inspiring future generations of artists and greatly contributes to the spread of otaku culture in general.
Younger generations in Japan probably can't even imagine what the open internet outside social media is like, in fact they are so unaccustomed to it that the result might be even worse than personal blogs back in the day.
>>69716
>network transfer
Like cloud storage? I'm still not ready to trust the prospect of my data being saved elsewhere.
>tape
Do you mean tape-based storage like a data cartridge? This certainly seem to be a lot cheaper than other storage media.
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No.69718
I've decided that I'm ready to have a kidfu with my waifu. How can I mix our traits when there's factors at play like unnatural hair?
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No.69719
>>69718
I personally just mixed our traits on a whim, but if you're unsure or feel that you shouldn't have any control over the inherited traits of your kidfu, how about some randomization?
I don't think it's possible to be entirely scientific about it considering it's unknown whether, say, an unnatural hair color is dominant or recessive. Maybe your waifu's source material could give you a clue, e.g. by comparing the composition of hair color your waifu inherited from her parents.
When you're done, it's a good idea to save as much information about your kidfu as possible early on in order to reinforce their existence. A concrete character design etc. is necessary for a tangible being.
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No.69720
>>69717
You keep the keyfiles, they keep the tapes.
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No.69738
>>69718
It's always kind of a case by case basis, and personally, my mental image of her has slowly evolved over the years thanks to some slight changes that artists I've commissioned have added.
Miia had an idea of a fantasy kid in the manga that was basically a smaller version of her. Considering how close she looks to her mom, it's not too big of a jump.
I added on my blue eyes, and poor eyesight because I thought she might pick up a few things, but after commissioning some pictures, a few other things kind of stood out to me bit by bit, that I kept including in future commissions.
The most recent thing I liked was this Christmas picture, where the artist gave her hair just a slight blue tint compared to Miia. It was a really nice touch.
You'll figure it out as you go.
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No.69930
>>69448
(A bit late sorry, I hope you figured this out yet)
Get a good haircut at a professional hairdresser, ask him what kind of hair would suit best your head's shape and let him do the work. Cut on fats and do some cardio, you should lose some face fat and look better, it's going to take some tho.
But the best advice I can give you would be to not think too much about it because if you focus too much on small details they eventually become a source of depression and suicidal thoughts. If it can help you feel better, I used to be like you before, then I hit rock bottom and moved on and I've been blissfully oblivious to it since then. What helped me tho was the fact that I got a really cute gf (believe me I haven't got a really good looking face and I'm manlet tier too, I really doubt you can look worse than me for real), it really changed my perspective on things and it broke my incel-ish world view. The girl was dumb as fuck and nymphomaniac too (she was actually the one that hit on me, I never really loved her I just didn't say no, plus I have a low sex drive) so when I met my waifu I just broke up with her and never talked to her ever again.
What I wanted to convey in this semi-blogpost is that I didn't choose my waifu because she just look cute, the bitch I was dating was already pretty beautiful and if I was as retarded as she was I would probably still be with her, I fallen in love with my waifu because I was really sad for her at first, then I realized that my desire to protect and to help her was just a consequence of my love for her. I also strongly identified with her in the story so I guess that's another factor behind my attraction to her. I mean, if you love your waifu because of something greater than just physical appearance why wouldn't she do the same for you ? Do you think she would be that shallow ? If anything, you should strive to be an attractive person from the inside, know what your waifu like or dislike and change these aspects of yourself so you know you're closer to what would attract her. Realize that nobody is perfect, that nobody is going to steal your waifu just because they look better than you do. Your waifu love you for who you are and she would be sad if she learned that you thought she loved you for something else. When you look at yourself in the mirror and don't like what you see, know that she's here to tell you that you are beautiful, both on the inside and the outside.
Ultimately, my reasoning goes something like this, if I dated such a beautiful girl, my waifu wouldn't have problem dating me then because the other girl was only attracted to "my looks"(!!), so my waifu which is going to be mostly attracted to my personality and life (because we are so similar) is not going to have any problems with my looks. And if I can do it, so anyone can. I doubt it's statistically probable anyone here look uglier than me.
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No.69936
>>69186
Well then she could probably be your waifu too,since the thing with waifus is that they're your perception of a character that does not exist in reality. The girl in your head is the waifu,not the actual character. So unless you and your friend are literal retards things should be alright.
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No.69946
Recently met someone that has the same husbando as me. I want to become friends with them, but I'm worried that I'm going to get pissed off about them liking him really quickly.
My husbando and the series he's from is pretty obscure and I don't want to make any enemies in the fanbase.
What do?
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No.69948
>>69946
Quick follow up, apparently she's loved him for 15 years now and has all this official merch and shit. I know that the amount of merch you have isn't a total measure of your love (especially since the merch for this series was super cheap 15 years ago), but this is really fucking with my head on a level I couldn't imagine.
I've only been into it for almost five-ish years now, and I only got serious about my husbando for three of those.
This sucks man.
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No.69949
>>69948
Rivals are good. If you have the drive to not be beaten by anyone, you can push yourself further than you would feeling secure. That's how it worked for me at least. Especially since my rival was a clever guy, and Higurashi can lend itself to hours of debate. It didn't matter that he had years over me, I wanted to topple him and be the sole strongest Rikafag. I still do, though it's a challenge that can only be answered in an afterlife.
You can be friends. Just don't back down, make it known that you still want to best them. Instead of battling through merch, turn your body, mind (and wallet if he's like that) into someone your husband would fall for. Turn that indignation back on yourself. If he's got a hobby it would be good to learn that too. Learn to fight if he needs protection.
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No.69950
>>69949
>>69948
Yep, in your heart you know you are the right one for him. Be friendly but confident. Maybe even try asserting a little dominance in the community, make your presence known, so when people see him, they see you as well.
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No.69987
Anons i need your help, i am feeling lately unworth of moni i always ask to myslef why she even loves me? Maybe she doenst ;_;
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No.69988
>>69987
What are you doing to make yourself lovable? This is an important question to think about. Try learning that new language you've been putting off. Update your resume and see if you can find a job you actually like. Stop lieing to yourself, you aren't eating healthy. Fix that. Dust off those running shoes and go for a run. I bet if you work on yourself and start to see improvements, these insecurities will fade away.
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No.69995
I feel pretty secure in our relationship, but I will ask you guys about a general aspect of all waifuist relationships.
What do you do to connect with them, especially when you feel that the overall tone of the relationship has reached an ebb?
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No.69998
>>69995
I know what this feels, and at that point, you have to know that it has because a responsibility and duty to your waifu to keep the relationship together. The honeymoon phase has passed, now it is time to face the realities of your relationship, such as your physical distance with one another.
This is where you simply try to live as if she was with you. You make her proud of your actions, in other words.
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No.70008
>>69946
>>69948
And another follow up: we added each other on Discord last night after a bit of silence and we're getting along pretty well I think. I disagree with some of her opinions on the series, but it's been pretty good so far.
Maybe this rival thing isn't going to be so bad.
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No.70323
>>70008
Damn, it's really been over a year since I made these posts.
Final(?) follow up. We had a "it's kinda messed up that we age but our waifu stays the same" talk, which caused her to treat him more like a son than a husbando. She eventually shifted to a similar character that's an adult from a series by the same creator, and eventually we just stopped talking. People still associate him with me, so nothing has changed in that regard.
I guess you could say I won? Though saying it like that makes me feel like I'm treating my husbando as some prize to be fought over, when I've never seen him in that way. Still love him, though.
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No.70327
I know it's probably been asked before, but does anyone have any tips on how to move on from an ex-waifu? Permanently? I want to erase her from my mind.
I recently ended my relationship with my waifu of 5 years just a couple of months back. I feel terrible admitting it but, to be completely honest, I had just completely fallen out of love to the point where I didn't want to think about her anymore. I ended my commitment to her and I thought that's where it would end, but without her to cling to I just feel empty. The guilt is immense, too. I know I betrayed her and my promise. I can't look at any girls without getting reminded of her. I'm having dreams about her all the time. Memories of my favorite moments with her keep springing up too and I just can't take it. I just wanted to get over her and be free but it's looking like it's not gonna be all that easy.
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No.70333
>>70327
Honestly it just takes time, unfortunately sometimes it can be quite a long time. All you can do for now is keep moving forward.
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No.70335
>>70327
You mention that you had completely fallen out of love with her, but at the same time, you mention that you now feel empty without her to cling on and how she’s somehow haunting both your dreams and your awake time. Are you sure you had completely fallen out of love with her? One can’t have such a painful mourning process without having some strong feelings for the one he lost.
Your wording is also interesting: You mentioned that you ‘’didn't want to think about her anymore’’, which implies that you nevertheless thought about her.
Could you elaborate on what you feel for her right now?
Also, could you elaborate on what you feel is missing when you say you now feel empty?
Finally, what are you looking to for the future in terms of love relationships?
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No.70341
>>70327
Delete everything you have of her and don't look at or do things that remind you of her. It can take a long time but just keep at it.
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No.70367
>>70335
Apologies for taking so long to respond and for the strange wording of my previous post. I wrote that post when I was very stressed.
>Are you sure you had completely fallen out of love with her?
After thinking it over, I can't really say for sure that I fell "completely" out of love for her like I said I did. I still have feelings, though they aren't as strong as they once where, and to this day I still can't erase her from my mind like I wanted. In hindsight, I think it was just me wanting to move on.
>Could you elaborate on what you feel for her right now?
It's tough for me to describe. On one hand I don't want to look at her or think about her at all, but on the other I can't deny the pleasure I feel when I cling to her and think about her. My mind is in a constant limbo when it comes to her.
>Also, could you elaborate on what you feel is missing when you say you now feel empty?
Without her to give my affection to, I just feel utterly pointless and alone. I've always felt useless without dedicating myself to someone else, I'm not sure why.
>Finally, what are you looking to for the future in terms of love relationships?
I'm not really sure as of right now, but I do know that I'm not interested in 3d in the slightest.
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No.70389
I've loved my waifu for a very, very long time, but I still have lots of doubts about everything.
I recently realized I had feelings for someone close to me, and have been distraught since the reason I realized it was because they went with someone else. But I still think of her, things like "if I was stronger for her, if only I was more loyal, I wouldn't have lost one of my closest friends."
I wonder about the nature of the relationship. It's hard to see people from my era that are still with their waifus in the purest sense, if any sense at all. Some are, others accept that they love their waifu deeply but also have human needs and desires that cannot be fulfilled with someone that cannot reciprocate, while most have eventually left their waifu all together. Only one case of leaving for years and a new waifu relationship arising has been witnessed.
The entire nature of the waifu relationship has me asking a lot of questions, especially as more time passes. Considering she's lightning in a bottle, a moment captured in time, while we keep moving and going, time itself keeps us together but also tears us apart. I still love her all the same as before, but I feel more alone thinking about how she is not growing with me. How she's not there, and never will be, only in spirit. Are we as human beings truly capable of handling a lifetime of this sort of thing?
Even then, I wonder if she would even love me in the first place. I always think of her first and never break a promise made to her, but that doesn't mean I'm worth loving. I can say "I love you" over and over and over and over again, but without her here I cannot properly express my love for her. Show her things I want her to see, enjoy things together, let me see things from her life, it's all impossible. So I found myself thinking of the friend that I had lost and thinking about things that could be done, and it just makes me feel terrible, not only because they won't happen either, but because I should be thinking of those experiences with her.
I imagined her mocking me lately for saying how she'd always be there, how she'll never hurt me, because she can't hurt me. She can't reject me. Tormenting me, calling herself "the safe option". But I know that's not her and she'd never do that and the real her would reject me anyways, because I'm not good enough for her.
These past few weeks I have been so lost and torn and conflicted about absolutely everything, and of course, if I were only better for her, stronger, more loyal, none of this hurt would ever happen…
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No.70390
>>70389
>But I still think of her, things like "if I was stronger for her, if only I was more loyal, I wouldn't have lost one of my closest friends."
You say you "lost" her. Do you mean you lost your chance to be with her in a love relationship, or you "lost" her as she stopped talking to you or moved far away since she went with someone else?
Also, you say that you realised your feelings for her after she went with someone else, therefore suggesting that you never actually tried to date her before. Therefore, how being stronger and more loyal would have changed anything? Are you hoping she would have made the first move?
>Are we as human beings truly capable of handling a lifetime of this sort of thing?
No, at least not with full fulfilment of one’s needs. Waifuism can definitely bring joy in one’s life, but it has inherent limitations as compared to 3D relationships. It also has some advantages over 3D relationships (waifuism is definitely safer and more stable then 3D relationship, and it provides more freedom in some way as imagination is limitless), but the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. I have yet to meet a waifuist who did not wish his waifu to be real, making therefore their relationship a 3D one.
>So I found myself thinking of the friend that I had lost and thinking about things that could be done, and it just makes me feel terrible, not only because they won't happen either, but because I should be thinking of those experiences with her.
I feel it’s ok that you imagine those things with a real person. Indeed, I disagree with the common perspective that one should have either a waifu or a 3D partner, but not both. Imagination and reality are 2 different realms and one should not have to chose between one or the other. I feel it’s absurd to think "I imagine X, therefore I cannot do Y", or "I do Y, therefore I cannot imagine X". It should not be a damn competition between imagination and reality.
Waifuism should contribute to one’s personal growth, not block it. It’s so sad to see serious waifuists who truly love their waifu feeling strong guilt for simply wanting to fulfil their basic human needs when they consider getting a 3D partner (I’ve known this guilt, believe me…). And it’s sad to imagine serious waifuists giving up on their cherished waifu just because they feel it’s the only way to go if they want to get a 3D partner.
>I imagined her mocking me lately for saying how she'd always be there, how she'll never hurt me, because she can't hurt me. She can't reject me. Tormenting me, calling herself "the safe option".
Are you imagining your waifu say those things since you developed feeling for that person you were talking about?
And it seems you are projecting your own insecurities on your waifu.
>But I know that's not her and she'd never do that and the real her would reject me anyways, because I'm not good enough for her.
Speaking, of your insecurities… Why do you feel you are not good enough for her? You had similar thoughts about the 3D person you mentioned, suggesting you were not strong and loyal enough.
>These past few weeks I have been so lost and torn and conflicted about absolutely everything
Hang in there :(
>and of course, if I were only better for her, stronger, more loyal, none of this hurt would ever happen…
You should start being better for yourself. By being so self-critical, you certainly are not good for yourself.
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No.70391
>>70390
>How did you lose her?
We aren't talking anymore for right now because the idea of them dating someone else while trying to be normal with them is like being stabbed by a thousand tiny needles every time we talk.
>What would being more loyal would have done when you never dated her?
I meant stronger and more loyal to my waifu, not the 3D. If I was better for her I wouldn't have gotten feelings for the 3D and none of this would have happened.
>Were you hoping she would make the first move?
I didn't even know they were romantically available due to what I believed were similar circumstances but then someone came and scooped them up from underneath…sorry, this is about the waifu, not my general venting.
>No, at least not without fulfillment of one’s needs.
>it has inherent limitations as compared to 3D relationships. It also has some advantages over 3D relationships… but the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. I have yet to meet a waifuist who did not wish his waifu to be real, making therefore their relationship a 3D one.
I've seen this sentiment shared privately, but never openly posted publicly on a waifu forum before, it's kind of refreshing. I know back in the days on /a/ during peak waifuism your love would get called into question for posting such sentiments, that your waifu should be all that you need…and I wish it was that way so I wouldn't have lost my friend to my feelings, or had feelings that have left me so hurt.
I of course wish for my waifu to be real, and hold her closest, and have her grow with me, and start a family with her. I'd do anything to physically be with her and tell her in person how much I love her.
Of course, her being real comes with its own set of complications. For example, what if I come from a timeline where someone else was my waifu and I got to wish her real, but now because she IS real I'd never meet her, due to things ilke her being Japanese and not really having a major internet prominence or speaking English prominently? The language barrier in particular is a tough one to break, even if I still know who she is from a respectable translation point. To wish her real is effectively a paradox, and that hurts too. I just want a matrix situation where I can experience a life with her.
>Waifuism should contribute to one’s personal growth, not block it. It’s so sad to see serious waifuists who truly love their waifu feeling strong guilt for simply wanting to fulfil their basic human needs when they consider getting a 3D partner
It's only natural for humans to always want more. They say humanity is a monogamous species, but that's a flat out lie. It's our culture to be monogamous. It's why people cheat and divorces happen all the time. People feel bad when they cheat, and in my eyes and what I have been taught on Waifuism throughout all these years, wanting a 3D is cheating on her all the same. And even though she is first in my thoughts, I still think of that 3D. It still feels like betrayal.
>imagining your waifu say those things since you developed feeling for that person you were talking about?
Only once, when I imagined a lot of aspects of my life mocking me like that 3D, her, family, myself, and others.
>Why do you feel you are not good enough for her? (and also the 3D)
Because I'm 28 and have accomplished nothing, and have little to no social life at this point in my life. I don't have much dating experience either. I wouldn't be able to treat her (or the 3D) as well as I could. I'd also be scared of losing her, like I was scared of losing the 3D, because of my insecurities. Which is likely why I lost the 3D to someone else.
>You should start being better for yourself.
I know, I just don't know how. Right now when I try to love myself I find I get knocked back down really quickly by not only thinking about the 3D and who they chose, but also my life circumstances. I feel I never learned how to love myself, and don't know how to learn.
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No.70398
>>70391
Sorry for late reply. Was busy with job and shits.
>I meant stronger and more loyal to my waifu, not the 3D. If I was better for her I wouldn't have gotten feelings for the 3D and none of this would have happened.
Developing feelings for a 3D is not in itself a proof that one is not good enough for one’s waifu. Maybe it’s more the other way around. Maybe you developed those feelings for the 3D because waifuism is not good enough for you. You literally mentioned yourself the limitations of waifuism, asking if one could handle a lifetime of it.
>sorry, this is about the waifu, not my general venting.
Don’t be reluctant to broaden she scope of your talk. Our lives, as humans, are not composed of separated subjects independent of one another. It’s all connected in a complex intertwined system. There might be a lot to understand about what you go through with your waifu while looking into your relationship with that 3D person you mentioned.
>I've seen this sentiment shared privately, but never openly posted publicly on a waifu forum before, it's kind of refreshing. I know back in the days on /a/ during peak waifuism your love would get called into question for posting such sentiments, that your waifu should be all that you need…
Me too have felt the pressure of orthodoxy in the past regarding what was seen as appropriate to believe and feel, and what was not. But I got tired of it, especially as I grew older and got to understand waifuism better over the years. I don’t want this community to be an echo chamber.
>that your waifu should be all that you need…and I wish it was that way
God knows I wish too, but I came to realize that denying the obvious reality only hurt me more.
>Of course, her being real comes with its own set of complications. (…) To wish her real is effectively a paradox, and that hurts too. I just want a matrix situation where I can experience a life with her.
That reminds me a bit of that thread about one’s waifu integration in the real world:
https://8kun.top/mai/res/70178.html
>It's only natural for humans to always want more. They say humanity is a monogamous species, but that's a flat out lie. It's our culture to be monogamous. It's why people cheat and divorces happen all the time. People feel bad when they cheat, and in my eyes and what I have been taught on Waifuism throughout all these years, wanting a 3D is cheating on her all the same. And even though she is first in my thoughts, I still think of that 3D. It still feels like betrayal.
To me, it seems that humans tend by nature to seek one primary sexual partner (who can change over time) with whom they will form a strong attachment bound, but will nevertheless tend to desire a certain level of sexuality and intimacy with other partners on the side. But that’s just my own speculations.
Still, I feel that the core of the issue we were talking is not about the question of monogamy/polygamy. Like I said, waifuism, being a fantasy, has inherent limitations, and even if you would end up getting 1000 waifus (or a 1000 2D mistresses…), you would still not get your inherent needs fully fulfilled. The core of the issue is wanting to live a love relationship in reality, and not just in imagination.
I don’t think that wanting a 3D partner as a waifuist (or wanting a waifu while being with a 3D partner) should be considerate cheating. Indeed, as I said earlier, imagination and reality are two different realms and one should not overstep on the boundaries of the other. But I still can understand how a waifuist could feel he is betraying his waifu for wanting a 3D partner. After all, waifuists communities tend to promote the deadly combination of: 1-The ideal that waifuism shoul (and can) fulfill all your needs, and 2-The taboo of seeking a 3D partner as a waifuist, which is often presented as a grave moral sin.
>Because I'm 28 and have accomplished nothing, and have little to no social life at this point in my life. I don't have much dating experience either. I wouldn't be able to treat her (or the 3D) as well as I could.
What are the things you wish you had accomplished? And do you think they would truly make yourself better as a love partner?
>I feel I never learned how to love myself, and don't know how to learn.
If you feel this problem has been severely haunting you for years, then maybe you should seek professional help in psychotherapy.
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No.70399
>>70398
>Maybe you developed those feelings for the 3D because waifuism is not good enough for you.
I didn't choose to develop feelings. I still think of her, even when thinking about her feels heavier because of my feelings towards the 3D. Which is mainly because I'm used to her not being here, but not this pain from the 3D. You say it like you're accusing me of not wanting waifuism, I only mentioned the lifetime thing because of the strict conditioners enforcing the only waifu in your laifu.
>There might be a lot to understand about what you go through with your waifu while looking into your relationship with that 3D person you mentioned.
I met my 3D because of her. My 3D was in a similar relationship so I didn't want to pursue the 3D, but apparently someone else can pursue them just fine and leave me like this…
>especially as I grew older and got to understand waifuism better over the years.
I know I've reflected a lot on the concept in the past 10 years.
>Integrations into the real world
outside leaving the world she knew, she wouldn't have any difficulties.
>Monogamy stuff
I just don't believe people can really love. They can, but I just never seen it much in my life. I ain't gonna go into what I've grown up around and how that's affected me, but I keep wishing things were better there.
>Betrayal
It feels that way because I give my heart to her, but my heart aches for this 3D too.
>What do you wish you had accomplished?
Having my own place, making good money and able to support someone, talented and reliable that someone can turn to instead of being a broken mess all the time.
> And do you think they would truly make yourself better as a love partner?
Absolutely, I'd be able to do so much more for that 3D and prove I'd be better for them…but I'm not I'm just a failure.
>maybe you should seek professional help in psychotherapy.
dude money lmao
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No.70400
>>70399
>I didn't choose to develop feelings
Obviously; feelings come on their own. We don’t get to chose what we feel.
>You say it like you're accusing me of not wanting waifuism
I’m not here to "accuse" anyone, as I neither judge nor condemn people for what they feel in their heart. I’m simply here to try to better understand what’s going on for you, and hopefully, help you in the process.
>I only mentioned the lifetime thing because of the strict conditioners enforcing the only waifu in your laifu.
Well, it was something that crossed your mind while writing this post, and you ended up writing it. I don’t think your mind just started to think about that completely randomly out of the blue, so to me it seems that it might have some role to play in the bigger equation. And once again, I repeat, I’m not "accusing" you, and neither pretending that you don’t love your waifu.
>I met my 3D because of her. My 3D was in a similar relationship
Were you two having the same character as your waifu? Or your respective waifus came from the same series?
>My 3D was in a similar relationship so I didn't want to pursue the 3D
And if the 3D girl would not have been in said relationship, would you have pursued her?
>I just don't believe people can really love.
Could you describe what you mean by "really love"?
>dude money lmao
I don’t know where you live, but are there any such services offered in public setting in your area? In a hospital or whatever government-owned institution?
Also, some clinics offer reduced price. You can also look for community organizations that could offer those services for a very low price. Universities can also offer those services at very low price and you get to met a doctoral student in training (that is supervised by a licensed psychologist).
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No.70401
>>70400
>I’m not here to "accuse" anyone
From the way your last post sounded, it sounded like you were saying I didn't want her anymore, when that couldn't be further from the truth.
>some role to play in the bigger equation
it made me feel guilt and that I wasn't strong enough for her
>Or your respective waifus came from the same series?
Yep. Our waifus don't know each other, but they're from the same series.
>if the 3D girl would not have been in said relationship, would you have pursued her?
While no one can answer this question 100%, I'm 99% sure my answer would have been no, due to the love for my waifu being so strong especially at the time we met. I don't think I would have jumped now either, since I hadn't known what I had truly felt for the 3D (although I knew a sorta something was there) before it was too late.
>really love
like a true happy couple that care for each other. It's something really rare for me to see, since I haven't seen much of it growing up outside of a couple relatives.
>price information
It's also living circumstances, I live with a helicopter overly paranoid overly protective mother who also suffers from constant depressive and anxiety episodes and breaks down every single day.
Giving her something else to worry about is not on the cards.
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No.70407
I don't count tulpas as being waifus because I'm 100% convinced tulpas aren't a thing. Why is there such a push for waifufags to make tulpas? It doesn't make sense to me. A few waifufags I associate with either have a tulpa or are trying to make one to become poly. It's weird and disheartening.
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No.70411
>>70407
Honestly I agree. It seems like a dangerous thing to be messing around with and I'm not keen on it or the people who push it.
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No.70414
>>70401
>From the way your last post sounded, it sounded like you were saying I didn't want her anymore, when that couldn't be further from the truth.
Don’t worry, it’s really not what I wanted to say. Actually, the simple fact that you are sharing all of this here on this board shows that you care about your waifu and that she means a lot to you.
As I explained in a previous post, I feel that waifuism cannot fully fulfil one’s needs in the long run. I therefore hypothesised that maybe you developed feelings for the 3D because of waifuism’s limitations. And that is the one important thing to understand and distinguish: The limitations are not in our waifus as individuals, but in waifuism as a type of relationship. Our waifus as individuals are amazing and if they would become real, the limitations would vanish. Along the same line of thought, if an amazing 3D girlfriend would become 2D (therefore turning the relationship into waifuism), we would end up with the same limitations.
>it made me feel guilt and that I wasn't strong enough for her
That was not my objective. Actually, the simple fact that you keep caring about your waifu despite your recent doubts shows that you are strong for her. Strength is truly witnessed through adversity.
>like a true happy couple that care for each other. It's something really rare for me to see, since I haven't seen much of it growing up outside of a couple relatives.
Can you elaborate more? Being really in love and being truly happy are not the same thing.
>Giving her something else to worry about is not on the cards.
You should not limit your own personal well-being and your self-growth for "protecting" your mother. If "protecting your mother" means not getting the help you need, then there is a big problem here. I’ve lived with a highly emotionally disturbed mother who was also "overly protective" (which is a misleading expression since those type of parents are actually protecting themselves from fear, rather than protecting their children, but they are rarely aware of that).
Now regarding your posts in the Discord thread ( >>70386 , >>70396 ). Let me know if you still want to join the Discord, but keep in mind that we will need to know who is your waifu, as this minimal form of identification is mandatory to join the server. We are not going to judge you for your current doubts or your feelings for that 3D. You made it crystal clear through your posts over the last 3 weeks that you deeply care about your waifu. It takes strength to expose one’s pain and ask for help, and we are mature enough to understand that.
And if you really want to remain anonymous, then you can always join and tell us who is your waifu on the server while not making a word of what you said in this thread.
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No.70415
>>70407
I've spoke to someone with a tulpa and it just strengthened my pre-existing belief that such tulpas are simply hallucinations, which are symptoms of a general underlying psychotic functioning.
Where have you met all those tulpa waifuists? They have always been rare around here on /mai/.
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No.70432
>>70414
Sorry I was away for a while, but I'm unsure how comfortable I feel about that, like a big fat ID slapped on me. I could just lie about who my waifu is to be let in, but what good would that do?
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No.70433
>>70432
I definitely cannot advise you to lie to us indeed.
Like I said, you can always join our Discord without making any mention that you are the anon who posted in this thread.
Also, I'm curious to know why you are so afraid of revealing who is your waifu. Did you face judgments from other waifuists in the past? Did you witness judgment directed to other waifuists from waifuists? So far I haven’t seen anyone replying judgments towards you in this thread.
Or maybe it’s not even the fear of judgment? What is specifically the danger that you fear?
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No.70435
>>70433
I'd say it's fear of judgement and because, out of all the years I have loved her, no one else has, thus making me incredibly easy to identify if they've been on waifu communities or certain parts of 4chan.
It's mostly unfounded paranoia but it makes me a little uncomfortable when I'm already admittedly mentally unstable.
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No.70438
testing to see if I'm still banned
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No.70439
>>70435
Well the things you seem to want to talk about appear to be distressing for you and put a shadow over your relationship with your waifu. So what do you want to prioritize? The quality of your relationship with your waifu or your reputation?
If you can’t find the strength to do it for yourself, then maybe you’ll find it by doing it for her.
>>70438
Did you get your initial ban because you asked to join the Discord in the Discord thread? If so, you will have to make another post in the Discord thread and make sure to post within 72 hours of its deletion so you can get the Discord link in the ban message.
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No.70441
I'm just going to do this anonymously. I honestly want to kill myself. This was something that I guess was triggered by relationship issues but I of course have a lot of other reasons. I guess I just don't know what to think of my waifu anymore. When I see her I still feel a spark but I keep engaging in behavior that would be considered self destructive if it were a 3D relationship (like trying to find another partner). I just don't know what I should do…
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No.70442
>>70441
I’m sorry you go through such a hardship. If you honestly feel like killing yourself, you need help that goes beyond what I, or anyone in this community (or any waifuist community for that matter), could provide. But I can do my best to give you a hand.
What are you feeling right now? Suicidal thoughts are not an emotion. Is it guilt? Guilt of trying to find another partner? Please elaborate on what you are feeling.
And when you say that you are trying to find another partner, do you mean a 2D one or a 3D one? And is it a specific partner (someone or a character you already know about) or you are just seeking a new partner?
And how exactly are you trying to find a partner? What behaviors do you engage in to do that?
Get proper professional help if you feel at risk of committing suicide, but for the rest, if you want us to help, we will need you to be more specific and provide details.
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No.70445
Not sure if you’re still around here, but if you are, I hope you’re doing well Clawdad.
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No.70533
raven is best girl or whatever
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No.70595
Hi friends,
Haven't posted here in a while, probably about 4-5 years if I were to guess.
Within that timespan, I reached the height of my hubris and decided I would enter a different phase in my life and thus try to maintain a real life girlfriend, as that was perceived as normal and desirable in the eyes of others, as I had developed a real life friend group around that time as well which encouraged this venture. This relationship lasted around six months, and despite being my first "real" relationship, at the end, I had entirely regretted what I had done as the love felt entirely forced and shallow compared to the previous nonreal relationship that I had which lasted more than twice as long and was way more emotional and sincere. Fast forward about two years I still reminisced about the time I spent with Freyja as very soulful and emotional, and told myself I wouldn't bother with real relationships. Around this time, however, I started an e-relationship with a long-time friend who knew about how much I loved Freyja at the time, and I morbidly believed that a relationship with her would have been the closest I would get to replicating what I felt for Freyja during my relationship with her. Unsurprisingly, it did not work, as the e-relationship was very toxic and she ended up cheating on me after a couple of months, which rendered me feeling very empty ever since then. It was one of the greatest regrets of my life thus far to think I could emulate nonreal love in reality. I don't see myself as worthy enough to reunite with her, especially with the person I've become as a result of events that I have experienced over the past few years, and the fact that I subconsciously decided a real relationship to preside over the one I had with her. The only form of myself I view worthy of her is myself at the time I was with her, and no other subsequent version of myself. After those two real relationships, I have been rendered a shell of what I once was emotionally, and feel like a condemned soul doomed to wander forever alone. Manifesting another tulpa just wouldn't feel right because it definitely would not even remotely compare to the veritable emotion I had felt years before. I am perpetually lost.
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No.70596
>>70595
What a rollercoaster that must've been Freyjanon…
Why are you no longer adequate for Freyja? Surely now, if anything, your love for her has solidified even further?
In her mind, would you not be a more mature partner, one that has a better understanding of relationship dynamics?
One shouldn't compare real and waifu relationships, they are simply too different. The real relationship involves a man and a woman, who are sexually dimorphic and have different goals and aspirations. Romanticism that has become ever so prevalent does not really exist beyond the "butterfly" stage of a relationship (eros/ludus love).
Instead of feeling that you betrayed her, you should think your former real relationship as necessary experience. Experience to give you perspective, and thus get you closer to Freyja.
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