The real philosopher questions his own beliefs, daily, with other smart people. He also studies others' ideas and perspectives widely, to see if they hold water. He admits that he might be mistaken, because so often, upon learning new things or meeting with new people, he has realized that what he so fiercely believed in, previously, was naivete, delusion, or contrived lies.
Surely you must make a choice of some kind, and move forward, rather than forever go in circles, trapped in your little academic circle, with your nose in The Good Books. Certainly, Nature has certain deadlines, and if you want certain things, you need to get a move on with things…