/mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders

I know this seems kind of cliche, but lately I'm getting pretty worried. You see, I am quite the hermit NEET, and due to this I have talked to myself since I was a kid. This was completely benign, I would make up imaginary adventures with friends and whatnot, but as I've grown up, the fantasies that I talk about seem to be getting worse and worse. Sometimes, when no one's around, I say things on repeat, like "I want/need to kill myself", "I have to die", "You're a waste of space, you deserve to burn in hell", and other stuff. Suicide, of course, has been on my mind for ages, but now, now I'm beginning to talk about my tendencies out loud. As it is, I nearly said I wanted to kill myself in front of my mother, just from the sheer habit of me saying it to myself countless times when I was alone in my room.

My dad has a gun in his shed, and I've been thinking of using it, but if I do I know my mother will blame him for it and make him sell his gun. He loves that gun. If I go through with my death wish, I'll have to use a different one, perhaps in the car away from the house. The only trouble is that I'm a poorfag, so I might just go the rout of hanging myself. I've found a nice, abandoned building to do it in, that way no one will find my body.

>All possible fetishes : scat zoo incest necro cannibalism uro bdsm small penises traps cartel dismembering pain rape…

>feels a lot of emotion but in fact, at the end nothing come out of me

>no future for me, no job, nothing even if i have a strong knowledge in everyting

>honestly want to die

>no family

>fat, multiple hormonal problem, small penis, breast, diabetes, hands shaking like shit everytime, not ugly but i haven't a masculin face

>poor & french

>one friend only and i see it few times a month

>lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy

>fap 5 times a day

I surely forgot a lot of other stuffs but this describe my actual life

>nobody will ever love you because you're a damaged goods mentally ill degenerate freak and not even licensed professionals can help with your problems

>every accomplishment you attempt will only be hindered by your own inability and you will only be able to work a menial job barely breaking even just to survive

>the only people who are interested in you want to convert you to their politics so you can be a crusader for their nebulous causes

>the trauma keeps you up every night

>you just want out of the misery but you're too much of a pussy to order the helium tank

>every ideal of masculinity you strived for you couldn't meet

>worst of all, no friend will even put up with your bullshit for too long so you end up invariably alone or hooked on e-communities where nobody knows your secrets and you can never tell for fear of driving off what little compassion you can eek out

>you deserve all of it, too, and you don't even blame anyone else for rejecting you because you'd reject yourself too

>no amount of self improvement can fix the core deficits people avoid you for

i just want the pain to end now okay

please take me off the ride

Did anybody here pass out candy last night?

My parents decided to skimp out because we're camping out in an apartment for now. I was planning to sit on the porch of the house we're going to move in and pass out candy and burned copies of Costume Quest, but since I didn't have candy and can't drive a car I wasn't able to do it. My mom told me that she was going to drive me out to the town so I could at least see the houses or something, but by the time I got up at 5 she was getting ready to go to bed. At least my dad ordered a pizza and that was okay.

Life is a chore at this point

I see no future and i have no hope on days i am not stuck in school and studying( i don't even know why i go to school let alone study) i just lie in my bed and listen to edgy music and watch some anime.

I used to be very depressed now i don't even feel anything, it's like i try to live a normal life but i just can't interact with humans, normalfags make me sick, i have gotten so disinterested in humans,so socially retarded that i don't even remember being normal anymore and the fact i have not killed myself is amazing to me.

and here is a fun story

my father caught me looking at gay zooporn

not related to anything just wanted to add some cancer to this post

I cut my self off from the world, because I'm afraid of commitment. I can't fight and can't stand for anything because I'm too timid. I have no empathy left and value human lives as much as rats on the floor. I don't do anything to better myself because in too afraid what the future is to hold.im constantly tired and ready for everyday yo be over when it starts. I'm sorry for wasting your time on your boards, but I don't want to go see a therapist due to the fact that one side of my brain doesn't not want things to change. But I'm asking you, should I see a therapist, I'm against self diagnosing. (But if any of you are feeling the same can you tell me what you think it is?

I reply fast due to the fact I have no life.

So I've got this surviving bit of my depression that I battled several years ago, and it's starting to greatly impact my view of the world. I see my self as an unattractive hobgoblin that no one really likes to be around. And by now since it started, roughly three months ago, I can predict that if not handled it will bring another bout of depression. I don't know what to do about it, hence coming here of all places to look for help

I fucking hate it I want my mind back it depressing but I'm scared of what will happen without it.

how to stop being jealous about girl i like? im not sure i want her to be my wife but im jealous when she meets other guys

It's real fucking offensive that the site is recommending me this board right next to /animu/ and /islam/ honestly.

What is the worst experience you've had with shrinks/hospitals and anything related to the mental health profession?

I think I might have some sort of personality disorder (have been diagnosed with other mental health problems) but I don't know what because the group of symptoms doesn't fit with any convential diagnosis I can find

-extremely insecure. any time I have a conversation or even lesser social interaction with anyone I am constantly observing their behaviour and thinking about what their view of me is

-very paranoid and mistrustful of everyone

-very quick to irritability (not anger)

-zero empathy or guilt, I'm not saying this to be edgy but it's true, I've never attacked anyone physically but I have done really terrible things and although I sometimes feel fleeting shame I never actually feel bad about it

-very impulsive, not much concern for my own wellbeing

-extremely workshy

-never really feel any emotions apart from worry, irritability, self-hatred, and fleeting moments of good humour

-inability to enjoy anything

-form quick, strong friendships with people that usually last about 6 months until either they realise what I'm really like or I stop wanting to spend time with them and ignore them, all my friendships end like this

-lie constantly, not pathologically but whenever it could benefit me, even after people have lost all trust in me

-despite all this, generally try and be superficially nice to people and never want to hurt anyone (just don't care at all if I do)

-literally cannot think about anyone but myself at all, whenever I think about other people it's always through the filter of what they mean for my thoughts

-however, very passive and vulnerable sometimes because of my insecurity and sometimes get treated badly by people myself

-never feel lonely, never feel fulfilled, just bored and nomadic

I think there is something seriously wrong with me, I'm 24 by the way and I have been this way all my life. I have had emotionally traumatic experiences in the last few years, notPost too long. Click here to view the full text.