/mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders

since i was a child i never finished a draw or something like that due to a lack of will

But now it's worst, im confused i want to do nothing but im doing studies to become a doctor or pharmacist, not because i like that ( i like nothing ) because i said that i want money but in fact even when i think about the money i can get with these professions i still dont care about it, i do not care about money, my futur or everything else, i want nothing, i like nothing no jobs come to my mind, i want truely nothing, im bad at school, im curently in a medicale school and if i do not just skip class i just do nothing in there, i come from a low social class and i live in a ghetto, im french, nothing here give me hope, i don't even have a family, i live with my mom and i have just 1 friend ( a woman ) but she rarely respond to me. I feeling alone, im not depressed i can laugh or whatever else, i just feel alone, and disturbed in my soul

It's like i tried everything possible on this planet, even good food attract me less day by day, i want nothing, i tried every kind of porn, i traveled to different places and i know pretty everything of this world from the evolutions of languages, to the evolution of life, astronomy physics and chimy, politics, human history, aeronautics, nuclear power, even small facts that no one cares, i still know them, i can draw a map of the earth with all of its biomes without a model, i know everything, every climates of every places, every mountain zones, i know every deserts, i know fucking every places of this world since i am 2 hours everyday on google maps just to pass time, boys and girls, what am i going to learn, to do next ? I am learning languages because i have nothing to do, i know lots of alphabets, lots of words of every languages my hobby is to compare every language i can, i know every pokemon openings in : Russian, Arabic, French, German, Dutch, Norwegian, Danish, Swedish, Finland, Spanish… same for other animes, it's boring now, there is no languages that makes me feel good, the last language that make me feel good was Dutch because of it's harsh sonority ( i love harsh sonority that's why i like arabic german and dutch )

What am i going to do ?

Wat ga ik doen ?

Was soll ich tun ?Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I tried to kill myself on Monday and I'm going to try again soon.

That's right! I'm looking for banners and banner ideas, some of the banners here feel like they're too closer to neurotypicals standards (Katy Perry being an example. I want to change that!)

As usual, it has to be 300x100 and below 1mb.

Death anxiety, suicide and self destructive thinking thread. I didn't see it in the catalog; so I figured I'd make a thread for once.

Does anyone else experience a bizarre dichotomy between death anxiety and suicidal ideation? I find myself torn between these two extremes of thought; perhaps having to do with my own manic-depressive /mental/ state. One night I'll be wide awake in bed, imagining the best and quickest ways to kill myself. Going over which ones would be the most efficient, leave the least mess and so forth… Conversely, other days I will be straight up terrified by the prospect of some accident or disease causing premature death. I'll worry I'm never going to get a real life, and I'll be dead before I even have the chance to grow old. I'm honestly not sure which gives me more anxiety; termination of my existence prematurely, and outside of my control, before having the chance to make change and get a life… or living on, hopeless, helpless, and just continuing to watch the years melt away as other people get jobs, families, and really LIVE.

Has anyone else had similar thoughts to this, similar experience? Semi-related, also used to self harm very badly. Required stitches on more than one occasion; nearly died from one laceration with narrowly missed an artery; required two rows of nine stitches and I lost over a pint of blood.

So about 6 months ago I started my journey into the world of antidepressants. First i was on sertraline, was on 75 mg for about 4 months when I decided it wasn't doing much of anything. I am currently taking 150 mg buproprion xl, 10 mg trintellix, and klonopin for anxiety.

I was on mirtazapine 15 mg for help with insomnia and severe loss of appetite. It worked really well for about a month but when I started trintellix, the mirtazapine started feeling extremely sedating, and i would not be able to wake up to an alarm, fall asleep in the middle of the day etc.

My doctor advised me to stop taking it about a week ago to see if these symptoms would improve, but I'm still so tired throughout the day without the mirtazapine and along with that my appetite is starting to dwindle again.

I feel like my current combo has lifted my mood slightly, but its so hard to function when I am having such a hard time sleeping/eating.

So what do u guys think?? does anyone have experience with mirtazapine?

I've heard that upping my dose could lessen the effects, thus making it less sedating but im still relatively new to antidepressants and was very hesitant to start taking them in the first place.

Idk where to go from here and I want to have hope that these medications can help me but its so frustrating finding a combo that works.

any and all advice is greatly appreciated

I've been going through a few years of being bounced around between different doctors, They've now told me that they no longer know what to do and they've run out of medication.

I go out and drive so fast that sometimes I lose control and my thought process is the faster I go the less likely I will survive and I can slip out of this life without directly hurting anybody

What is the difference between PTSD and CPTSD?

Been working on some random shit in my Notepad lately, and this line I wrote makes me question something:

"She and my appliances is the only reason i'm still here.

In other words, I just can anytime take a rope and somewhere far off there to put a final end to my story. "

This is translated:

Zij en m'n apparaten zijn eigenlijk de enige reden waarom ik nog leef.

Met andere woorden, ik kan gewoon ieder moment een touw pakken en ergens vergelegen er een laatste punt achter mijn verhaal te zetten."

Question is: is there an alternative to suicide? I just.. don't feel happy with my life at all, even though I got everything I want, except for one thing: a fucking life.

Pic of Mew semi-related, writing fanfics with Mew in it is about the only thing that keeps me from becoming insane lately. Oh, and with "she" I didn't ment Mew, I ment a gf that I have in that one story I wrote.

So, decided to see a shrink after realising I had all the symptoms of adhd which I figured is causing el depresso and anxiety. I see this guy who's either pingin on some kinda substance or has bigger problems than I do. Guy seems so distant like I wasn't even in the room. Tell him my deal for a good half hour. He says you probs had adhd as a kid and probs still do but maybe not. Then this fella latches onto how I have a restless mind and over-think everything, which I know causes me the poor concentration, lack of sleep and really doesn't help with depression and anxiety, which I mentioned to him, but he starts leading towards psychosis in a sneeky kinda way. He gives me scripts for antidepressants and antipsychotics and says, 'now, I dont want you to think you have psychosis' . WTF!? Being the indecisive restless-minded wank head that I am, im just stuck rn. I've taken the antidepressants, sure, but I'm having real trouble even thinking about taking the zyprexa, thinking, if the troubles I'm having are because of adhd, how much worse will I be with even less dopamine. Don't get me wrong, I'm not after just a dopamine boost from stimulants, I was scared as all heck thinking he might prescribe stimulants, stressing whether I'd become a junky or not. But to give me a pill that will probably have a negative effect to the adhd that he said himself, I could still have, what's this guy thinking!? If I take the zyprexa, what's the worst that could happen? Just freaking out a little rn #.# apologies guys

i was the faggot that shilled my dead board here but i come to realize this place is perfect for me since i suffer from ocd, autism , anxiety, intellectual disability etc my ocd is bad i can only step in certain ways or i feel like something bad is gonna happen to me it hit me in a young age i seen a therapist somehow they couldn't help but gave meds that didn't work so i stopped taking meds in general they put me in a psych hospital 3 times for different situations it was called southwood i was put into one room with 12 people and one tv and 2 showers it was hell in there i got beaten there and got shots that we're long and put me to sleep for 12 hours the staffs we're faggots luckily i got out then i was put back again i threaten my mom to kill her i couldn't control myself then the police came and handcuffed me they and put me back for a month those months we're miserable i slept all day there was one tv but some fatass sits in front of it everytime i was treated like shit in school work and home i threaten my school aswell.. i got put into a different school where people with disabilities go.. now i have no friends not even online HAAAHHAHAAHAHAJAAAAHAHAUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA i shut myself in society i run a dead chan now no one gave a shit HAHA

Sup /mental/

I'm able to identify my internal and external voices(other peoples) from each other but sometimes they start to align. Stuff like telling me I'm things that im not. Im not normally motivated so when i get inspired to explore those things there's a confirmation bias type loop that triggers so I'll start thinking heavy shit and the loop builds more until they finally shut up. I'm really not convinced it's healthy but they tend to chicken out before I get the chance to lose my shit so it tends to work in my favor.

I've been called manic/borderline/bipolar/schizo by ppl but i can't trust that cause they aren't psychologists.

Pretty sure I'm just emotionally unstable and prone to grasping at social straws recently so here I am

What should I do about that? Looking for advice from anyone else that might go through something similar

I know this isn't the forum likely for it (there's probably a human biology forum on this chan)

but do you think certain races are predisposed to ethnomasochism than others?

hey friends come visit our dead chan sometime stop by and say how shitty it is 64ch.net

How do you make a habit? I've been getting lazier and more fucking depressed lately, it's like I'm numb without any oil or drive to push me. I don't need a reason, I only need discipline and a vision at the end, how do I "break" it in, so to speak, I'm tired of being tired and hollow all the time. I'm already going on nofap and ketosis again, but I still have that "fatigue"

Do drugs help?

Let's talk about dreams, and what they may mean to you. I've been having more dreams recently, a lot of them are stemmed from sorrow and lack of belonging, I dream about old friends, people who want to hurt me, and a general uneasiness about the passing of time. I usually don't remember much overnight, but certain dreams stick with me for years on end, I'm going to buy a dream journal so I can write down as much as I can remember.

You should know that dreams reflect the current state of your life, and some of your deepest, most intimate desires and priorities in yourself. They tell you more about yourself than even a psychologist can describe at times, it is one of the few things that can alter your reality.