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Anons Fringe Archive

File: 9f92c4d52a24c43⋯.jpg (78.13 KB,736x736,1:1,b614524663c993b453dc143f48….jpg)

 No.142561 [Open Thread]

Mike Charlebois Stomps a Can (The Enraged Amish):

Cassie-Leigh Stock's playwright money, for television shows featured animated cartoon villains.

Ruined, by Provincetown, the disgusting and repulsive gay man; the whaling museum.

Jenna Williamson's postal services money, for the air services and the Mossad to work together.

Ruined, by Father Jim, an ExSec broker in convicts and children; the convenience store and warehouse.

Allison Haimes' lawsuit money, the defense of German criminals, from the Mossad.

Ruined, by Heidi Fulcher, a Federal Republic of Germany dickface; the Nazi, the Unitarian Schulzstaffel swinger.

Jessica Bailey's royal marriage money, the protection of animals and safe children, for pets.

Ruined, by Nicholas Maynard, a homosexual lesbian bodybuilder; the end of all of Europe, by patent term renames.

Goddess Arsine's bondage house money, to get dominatrixes back into espionage; the sexual freedom and liberation from men, from housewives that practice domination as mousey little cuckqueans.

Ruined, by Bill Tanner, a Canadian police chief summoned by Lockheed-Martin; the end of all of state university, and the victory of Canada, NAMBLA and socialized medicine.

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File: da0519ce5ced11c⋯.jpg (824.43 KB,1600x1051,1600:1051,Optical_Illusion.jpg)

 No.142545 [Open Thread]

I recently stumbled upon a video where a guy demonstrated the "Magnetic Fingers" suggestibility test and it worked like magic so that got me more interested.

I don't really think hypnosis will be that effective on me as I've tried a few audios before and nothing worked, so I'm here to ask for what are the most effective self hypnosis courses / books / methods that you have used on yourself and they actually worked.

If you know of a methodology for creating effective self hypnosis audio + scripts that would be something I'm especially interested in, in fact I'd prefer that since it's more practical, easier to test and document results, and is reusable (can help other people I know with the same problem). But I'll take whatever I can get if you only know of a "manual" method.

If you don't know about a specific creation method, but you know of some specific audio files by a known group / company / entity that actually worked, please state their name and what the audio helped you with.

If you have actual downloads for these materials (guides, scripts, audio files, etc) and you are willing to share (torrents, mega, google drive, etc) but you don't want to post them publicly, please send me a private message on discord, my username is uunknownuunknown.

If you are willing to share but are unconcerned about the download being deleted, just share it here.

Thank you.

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File: 9792b38590eb4cd⋯.jpg (219.55 KB,1385x924,1385:924,d.jpg)

 No.142544 [Open Thread]

Was King Arthur fighting the Anti-Christ factions and the ancestors of the freemasons? What caused the spiritual diaspora of the celtics and saxons?

https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Progenitors_of_Nazarene_Teachings

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File: 54482546e2442f9⋯.png (796.13 KB,775x433,775:433,meditation.png)

 No.142525 [Open Thread]

I have been struggling for a while with these mental exercises, I really need help. I'm hoping that I'll find some rare individuals with key knowledge on this niche website.

Please read carefully and answer the three questions to best of your abilities. Thank you for the help.

If you don't have an answer for #2 but you are actually proficient at #1 then that's good too, I can't move on to exercise #2 anyways because I'm stuck at a 1 minute duration for #1.

Questions:

1. Have you practiced Dharana (concentrating on a single thought for a prolonged period without ANY mental interruptions), and how long can you last (in minutes)?

2. Have you practiced Dhyana (emptying the mind of all thoughts for a prolonged period without ANY mental interruptions), and how long can you last (in minutes)?

3. What kind of specific training/method did you use to attain your level of proficiency in both exercises (book, course, etc)? - Be as specific as possible

1 post omitted. Click [Open Thread] to view. ____________________________
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 No.142532

I didn't study anything. My eastern philosophical bend was labeling really.

My suggestion is to not try so hard. Enjoy it a little more. Don't try to approach matters of the heart with the intellect.:)

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 No.142535

>>142531

>>142532

Oh ok, I can't really do anything with that info though.

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 No.142537

>>142535

Now you know how your parents feel.

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 No.142538

>>142537

You tried you best, but my wording doesn't really fit your joke.

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 No.142539

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 No.142491 [Open Thread]

Does anyone know any exploration groups into looking and travelling to mythical/legendary locations ? any discord forum of people doing this thing ?

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 No.142533

Me since ever. And now thst I have no direction and a mitary disability I'm so in.

I don't wish I do.

I've always wondered why more lethargic Americans don't go dig in the dirt like a dwarf. Maybe be housed on a village. Pitch in in the am ya know

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File: 3df1ebb1668775f⋯.jpg (130.81 KB,780x623,780:623,7936244500_78ffd961d8_b.jpg)

 No.131468 [Open Thread]

I didnt know where else to post this because /pol/ would probably laugh at me and call me a shill.

So for 2 weeks now i am now pretty certain there will be a big event at the end of this year.

I have this strange sensation of dread and fear looming over me daily.

I see pain, fear, uncertainty, fire and death on a scale which has never been seen before.

Im not trying to fearmonger or make anyone afraid i just need to get this out of my system and is anyone else feeling or seeing this?

37 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click [Open Thread] to view. ____________________________
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 No.142327

Nobody noticed that OP essentially predicted the plandemic

>>131685

>Ever since the shooting in NZ it seems like events have been barreling toward some kind of major event.

No shit

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 No.142487

>>131468

Holy shit, OP wasn't larping this time and actually predicted the future

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 No.142488

>>131720

think about getting fluoride removed from drinking water pls

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 No.142490

>>142488

>getting fluoride removed from drinking water pls

with J-Dawg as prez? no way…

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 No.142530

Yall, remember the East tends to hold waaaay less of a fixation to exact dates.

Thats more of a western idea, history. From needing to know who Jewdicar, son of Donkey Cunt, son of Oyveyagar

When time speeds up its more of a….perspective thing. Events socially are rapid pace, unrest high, hedonism for escaping etc.

Let me put it this way. Remember Cosmos? 70s Sagan? Wsrned about the sensationalist media direction we were going then. Attention span withering. The shock gut punch was in telling us a world with… 30 second news bites

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File: ab2a17c6ce929d2⋯.png (1.72 MB,1920x1080,16:9,moonage_daydream.png)

 No.142522 [Open Thread]

Program: Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps, Airbase Operations.

Mentor Program: Resource Economics, Site Management.

Training Facility: Van Meter Dormitory, Subgenius Floor, Iran-Contra.

Hire of Facility: Joseph Kennedy III, Prosecutor, 4th District Massachusetts.

Representation: Garfield Lodge, marijuana and dominatrixes, abolition of contract labor, police training site "Bridgewater Triangle".

Forensics Field Forms (Deputies Union, State Police):

John Gotti ("Free the Weed", state police enforce rackets with coupons, mob in poverty without marijuana and police tenants in hostels).

Charles Floyd ("Master Herbert", the incarceration of Insane Clown Posse Mossad, investigation into Yardies "secret courts", the Russian Mafia).

Steven Flemmi ("The Entwhistle Incident", murder of Spanish Republican accountant family, John Warren Freemasonic Temple).

Vincent Gigante ("Hard Candy", Air Force investigation into Taunton Behavioral Ward, Queen Elizabeth II marked for war crimes tribunal, at duel of statesmanship).

Ted Bundy ("The Biggest Loser", mass incarceration of Canadian spies, all claiming allegiance to David Charlebois as United States President, of the MUSH).

Charles Manson ("Exalted", long range reconnaissance mission, the capture of John "Cusack" Washburne, for pedophilia related to Marvel Comics research, "The Amazing Spider-Man").

Timothy Leary ("Sin City", reprogramming of Ivan Tomasic, Secret Service, into Alan Moore, DC Comics Laureate).

Karl Unterweger ("The Dark Knight Rises", print of Bellevue program as "Law and Order: Gotham City", dooming Barack Obama to status as psychiatric patient controlled by the Jesuits; "Gotham", hits the airwaPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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File: 6ec2d1d1774ab9d⋯.jpg (369.75 KB,619x650,619:650,sorrow.jpg)

 No.142504 [Open Thread]

Danny Ocean: Barack Hussein Obama, smeared by "Dreams From My Father", written by CIA agent "Whitey" Bulger. Disgraced by the Tong, for supporting Chinese rights of the Mainland; as opposed to Caucasian run businesses, of claimed Chinese or African or Japanese fair, with Asian women as slaves to laundromat businesses.

Rusty Ryan: Joseph Biden, descent of King James of Scotland, and former leader of the "Capone Squad", through family, the Gaetano Police Fund of New York. Stockbroker expert and Last Rites priest, both by genome; seeking police papers returned, after being indicted and charged and verdicted, outside of court, by Hitler Youth through Prosecutor's Bund of Switzerland.

Frank Catton: John Scott Lennox, Forbes Magazine swindling heir, elite Mafia hitman. Involved in Forbes Magazine, Reynolds Tobacco, and Schlitz Brewing, through protection of women's rights to breed without sodomey; the loss of the female orgasm, through Islamic or Jewish methods of female mutilation found and sought from stable numbers of women's banking; the Lutheran Islamic model.

Reuben Tishkoff: George Soros, family of Clan Washington of the

United Kingdom, out of Germany, not America, the First United States President. Responsible for New York banking trades, out of Rockefeller Center and MI-6; burned on a deal, with the trade between the Bulgers, in Boston, the political foundation, and Che Gueveran Castroists, in New York, out of Puerto Rican business numbers.

Virgil Malloy: Jessica Ludlow, scion of the Hopkins family, out of the blood of Elizabeth I, the Jacobins, prior to the Yorks and Lancasters, a "Spider"; the founding families of the Nepal Temple, the Japanese Terraces, the Roman Roads, the German Beer Halls, the British Theaters, and the American Wharfs Districts. Each of them, with a simple timble type, monikered and "mocked", as a set, in games manuals and board games and video games. Expert in the MUSH, her father's software build, prior to her father's rape and sexual assault by Hopkinton Sheriffs, to bear her as a child.

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 No.142505

Turk Malloy: Jessica Dahmer, a distant relative of the Charlebois and Sons banking clan of North Canada, an English sea dogs group devoted to the exploitation of interdependent labor out of American military academies, in the high north of Canada; run by Underground Railroad survivors, African slaves, growing lumber, marijuana, and rare minerals, often for bear shows and attractions, actually as collegiate enhancers, to avoid police officers attempting "land traps"; stabilized income, on children, for grocery stores, their hated form of business, preferring convenience stores instead.

Livingston Dell: Kara Williamson Daignault, the blood of Millard Fillmore and Hiawatha and Lee Harvey Oswald, a professional assassin out of the FOX brokerage for US media fed to foreign espionage, intended to disavow and disprovoke them from knowing United States foreign and local policy. Used to mark a poor police officer, or civil scion, inside actual police corps forces, through State Police and the Fraternal Order of the Police, the enforcement of laws of privilege and protocol as less punitive than those offered by civics courses and classes, as displayed on common news of print, not media, out of conservative papers, "rags".

Basher Tarr: Jeffrey Lange, Persian intelligence and defector from VEVAK under French ExSec forces, interested in a business deal between France and Taiwan, to pull INTERPOL's base resin forces out of slavery of Taiwanese nationals and royals out of North Korea, and place Wikipedia on a profit model out of paid subscriptions to local site owners, in exchange for private internet funds; attached to Remittel, the French internet, out of MUSH base and local MUX proxy servers, using Shangrila MUX as a code instance.

"The Amazing Yen": Elliott Ledger, alias "Ellen Page", murderer of her own father, Heath, in retaliation for the OJ Simpson frame, and his murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. A professional writer, MI-6 assassin by breeding, and a computer LANS operative, actually has a pedophiliac diagnosis, due to Dworkin's disorder, her low intellect and IQ due to atrophied nervous cells from premature orgasm or female ejaculation or male attraction, made up for by acrobatics and stage shows, indicating a high proficiency at knife fighting, rifle, and climb of a Palestinian swords variety, her genetic patronage out of her mother.

Saul Bloom: Prince Andrew, saved by Alice Charlebois and "Sullivan Squad", the Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
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 No.142507

I don't get it.

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File: 8295380c30fa852⋯.png (93.75 KB,1024x932,256:233,cobra.png)

 No.142475 [Open Thread]

Great Grandfather: Ernest Charlebois, fought in World War 1, American Expeditionary Forces, as a cook.

Grandfather: Raymond Charlebois, fought in World War 2, American Marine Corps, as an aircraft mechanic.

Father: Michael Charlebois, deferred draft in Vietnam, worked for Raytheon and Israeli Defense Forces, as an industrial engineer and foreman.

Self: David Charlebois, hunted by Sonya Savdie and Israeli Defense Forces, in defense of Japanese Imperial Government, declared "Hideki Tojo", by Japanese Yakuza.

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 No.142483

The demon race of Jews will by burned from this planet.

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File: 046606d435b6b02⋯.jpg (19.27 KB,554x554,1:1,images_1_.jpg)

 No.142472 [Open Thread]

Let me tell you from the start. I am with crypto since I was in class 7. And its been already 8-9 years, I haven't hold anything yet. But day by day, crypto become the most favourite things of mine.

I passed my J.S.C ( Junior School Certificate ), S.S.C ( Secondary School Certificate & H.S.C ( High School Certificate ) with a grade point (GPA) of 5.00 (A+). The journey was great. But problem start when my father died after the time of S.S.C. After the H.S.C I learned about graphics design, and started freelancing to earn money. But at this point in my life not being able to get any orders. I try telegram marketplaces, facebook and linkdin also to search for clients. Though I got some orders but now its being so difficult for me. I searched for part time job then. I also got one, anyhow, it was going. But its been 3 months I lost my job. I am in 3rd year right now. Just one more year left to complete my graduation.

I don't know what to say or how to say as I am really ashamed of it. I need almost $2k in this semester but for me its being really impossible to manage this amount. I really doesn't had any option left without post on 4chan. At least an anon response to me. I strictly hate begging and as you mentioned in your first mail, I don't know will you help me or not. But if you could help that would helps me to complete my graduation.

My mother always wanted me to see as a police officer but without completing the graduation its impossible for me.

Its not like that I don't earn well or beg from people, its not like that. But this time, I am empty. Sometimes life is kind of hard to struggle, that time we need a helping hand very badly.

I really don't want to lose my educational career. Badly want to complete my graduation. Please consider a bit, your little bit consider will save my entire education career.

If needed i can also send you my face record video evidence or also my live location or even any documents like my government issued identity card so that you don't think I am lying for free money. Anyway you may help me out Anon?

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

4 posts omitted. Click [Open Thread] to view. ____________________________
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 No.142478

>>142477

I don't know where to post it exactly. Randomly selected the board, I didn't find any board for biz here

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 No.142479

>>142478

To be fair, this seems to be the only 8kun board with actual human beings posting on it

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 No.142480

>>142479

So, which board I should post?

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 No.142481

>>142480

Most 8chan users have migrated to various sites on the "web ring"

https://alogs.space/boards.js

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 No.142482

>>142480

You shouldn't post anywhere you pathetic waste of skin. No one wants to see your obnoxious ebegging.

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File: e8972163dc3ad5a⋯.jpg (709.23 KB,1600x1200,4:3,1705812435173904.jpg)

 No.142420 [Open Thread]

Which entities do I need to work with or rituals do I need to do to replace my homosexuality with straightness? I've tried a few methods without success and want to dive deeper. What causes it and uncauses it?

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 No.142423

According to Eliphas Levi, this results from a disparity between the sex of your astral body and that of your physical body. I think you should observe a strict purity of thought and deed, and pray to Venus with all your might, to put you straight.

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 No.142424

>>142423

Is there a purpose to this disparity? It seems the utility of the gay man is to be a man who pertains more to society and its collective than personal offspring. Should a gay man try to switch?

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 No.142426

>>142423

The spiritual dilmena is that the gay man is usually enmeshed spiritually with his narcissist mother, correct?

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 No.142449

Jesus

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 No.142458

>>142449

The most useless advice for any situation.

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File: 8295380c30fa852⋯.png (93.75 KB,1024x932,256:233,cobra.png)

 No.142433 [Open Thread]

Harry Potter: An MI-6 book series, intended to portray Hugh O'Neill's line, Voldemort, as Harry Potter, a closet homosexual; actually an Aran, without precognitive abilities, structured by JK Rowling, a Hitler Youth by blood; the fire marshalls, of Germany, in partnership with the Lord Protectors, Cromwell, the stockbrokers of Jewish marque.

Dragonball: A South Korean series, placing a CIA agent, as Goku, through the mentorship of a Vietnamese-Mexican, Master Roshi, the falsehood of form of the print having been ordered to oppose Sega and the related game series, of the nascent and ascending Sony, the CIA Japanese investment; as opposed to Nintendo, the Vietnamese Russian communist investment, out of the Church of Satan and Vietnamese grown coffee; coffee and donuts for a prisoners repeal, a tip to law enforcement.

Megaman X: The placement of a CIA agent, as Whitey Bulger, to oppose the Montessori System, placed as Sigma; the Montessori, the system used on Bumpy Johnson, Michael Bay, and Barack Obama, however those three systems using Leibniz, a cheat, this as a Sigma Tau, an Isaac Newton quantum banking, with five points, the two and four removed, to make guilt by association, defensive, instead of a common outward assumption or a lead by "hint", the police entrapment.

Area 88: An anime, for the confidence grift of a student, as "Shin", into theft of a girlfriend, without her fatal overdose or arranged sexual assault, so corrections officers, could control women intending on bedding economists, pilots, or military officers, the support of the commons market; international labor, shipped out of psychiatric wards, into prisoners cordons, for medical labor as hard labor overseas and abroad and at home, for nursing students and nursing services; held as cuckold and sperm theft, out of police officers and operatives blood.

UN Squadron: A complex gaming system, intended to destroy students for focus, crafted by the Ku Klux Klan, German Federations, and the Reagan investment (the Insane Clown Posse, Eminem, the Offspring, Cypress Hill, Twiztid, and "Fight Club"), the supply of fishers to fishing villages and islands, for slave labor, for being knowledgeable about a town or series of commerce, to aPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click [Open Thread] to view. ____________________________
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 No.142443

Charlebois and Sons:

Charlebois: Shillelagh, descended from the Chilton mercenary family of Canaan; the slaying of the Nazarene, Jesus Chilton, for inventing the mouth harp, and the favoring of the Legion's son, Marcus Chilton. Out of Belfast, Ireland.

The mortgage, is the participation in property law of town, upon loan to housing; the promise to participate in school, and if company having gone bankrupt under banker's law of initial public offering succeeding to sales of corporate trade, then children moving to police service. However, the second mortgage, the mortgage to build a house is the chapter 11 bankruptcy with family as corporation, the mercenary intelligence trade.

Chilton, a proper ship.

Ownership, 13 Valentine Road, Martha's Vineyard Kenway Franks, Stewart Machining, and Moen Mercantile Hospitalier, 38 Michael Road, 28 Chickadee Way.

Charlebois and Sons: the pre-law promise, the prosecutor's office.

Majors:

Resource Economics, the trade in commodities, a stockbroker.

History, the cipher sheet, the removal of precedent through act of homicide.

Creative Writing, the public fraud of civil rights, for the African community.

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 No.142444

EON 007: The Arizona Air Force investment, in the Irish Mafia.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind: An assassin in entertainment, an avowed Satanist.

Hail to the Chiefs: The Capone investment, for the Last Rites, to be extended to world leaders.

Grand Theft Auto: The shutdown of Mormon slave labor, surrogates, for sex and marriage of missionary.

The Departed: The murder of entire organizations, for opposing Barack Obama; a Kenyan, not an African.

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 No.142445

Boondock Saints:

Coon's Age: The time for new police to roster to chief's rank, out of sergeant corporal; then, the O'Neills of Boston come back.

Last Opposed:

William Bulger: The cop wages of the Wonderbread factory, one of a kind, to support the entire Papal union of global police.

James Bulger: The investment in Chinese coffee, to take revenge on MI-6, for having equitable wages at a fair price, for workers.

Joseph Bulger: The deportment of children, to Afghanistan, as sex workers, for the law professor's union, al-Qaeda.

Present Scrum:

The Pentagon Promise Fund, Colin Powell, through Andrew Donson; Swirlyman, aliases Dr. Joshua Golden, Daniel Silva, Sid Meier, and Jim Shooter. Modeling of mathematics, for Holocaust educators and dyslexic turkey gobblers, to kill the children of police, so their parents can have cruises, and the daughters, go to prison.

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 No.142446

Downed Agents (Targeted by Essex County Deputies, Putin Federalist Agents):

Sandi MacDonald, NSA/NRO, David Charlebois, NSA/CIA, Matthew Lennox, Sheriffs/CRASH, and now, Alexandra Gaetano, FBI/CIA.

Federal units have an inclusion policy, that makes infiltration impossible, unless by a police officer's badge refusing to lodge at a college.

That's why we have CIs, to put a DI status on any infiltrator, for gender sciences classes to learn from past incarcerated DI agents.

NSA: The protection of routers, phones, records, campus documents, and wireless, from anyone breaching, with live action teams armed with military weapons, helicopters, and aircraft fighter-bombers to counter any threat covered under paramilitary act of finance discharge through Congressional order.

NRO: The registration of all satellites inside the purview of telecommunications poles and transmitter arrays for slang terms covered by White House documents as drug terms, so agents and their families may signal for an operator for assistance, against a police unit or foreign unit or criminal conspiracy, having targeted, free of prosecution's risk, guaranteed.

CIA: The thespian street research unit and jurisdictional accounts unit of the State Department, devoted to all finances and division of terms of police and foreign traveler, inside and outside of national or province lines; the combat forms and infiltration of units under direct signal of embassy of federal government, inside municipal capital, supported through university ROTCs.

Sheriffs: The politicians deacon of registered support of state Governor, through act and criminal act pertaining to the capture of any foe of a politician having moved a preliminary election into act, a filibustered conspiracy; a paramilitary strike combined with a later control of political annex, countered by equation form of mathematics.

CRASH: The hunt and kill of INTERPOL, the prostitute's union, carried out by convicts and field research film expertsPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

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 No.142447

I assume this is a cypher of some sort? If not you really need to work on your communication skills.

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File: 27c753307aa5691⋯.jpg (178.24 KB,640x360,16:9,creation-16_9-640x360.jpg)

 No.104268 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

Reality Creation 101

I'm writing this thread because I see a lot of confusion and even worse, disempowerment floating about here. Thus, It might be time for a refresher on reality creation. Now, there are an infinite amount of models on how the universe works. We're going to leave that out of this because I have mine, and I'm assuming you have yours. What this inevitably boils down to is one question; How good are you at getting what you want? Magick can be thought of as "The applied science of manifesting your will into reality." So let's get real here. How good are you at it?

If you can shoot fireballs out of your dongus, but can't find a loving girlfriend… Then you have failed as a mage.

If you can levitate your balls off the floor with the power of your mind, but need to wipe your ass with a crusty rag because you can't afford toilet paper…Then you have failed as a mage.

If I were to ask you "Do you have limits?" and you were to answer with anything other than an immediate and empathetic "Hell NO" then…eeyup. You have failed as a mage.

We live in a universe where you really -do- get to have everything. You can think of the universe a …cosmic chef. When it asks you "How would you like your desert" you're more than able (and entitled to) say "On the sweet side please!" the trouble is that most mundanes (and even some of the neophytes here) say "Just deep fry some pig shit for me thanks." and then endure eating it with all of the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. Is this you? Well no more. I know you. I know you are better than that. So we're going to set out to changing your order.

Heres a sample of what we're going to learn in this thread.

A. Why the law of attraction sucks donkey balls.

B. How to use emotional resonace to create the reality you want, along with two simple tools and a discussion of how to select the right one for the job.

C. A brief discussion of the energy source we're working with and how to goPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

293 posts and 39 image replies omitted. Click [Open Thread] to view. ____________________________
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 No.140743

Bumping this gem

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 No.140745

>>140743

Nice. I reread it a few days ago.

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 No.142390

Kindly requesting anyone who saved anything from this thread to repost it

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 No.142391

>>142390

Nevermind, here it is

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 No.142392

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File: 1471818864281.jpg (193.65 KB,966x966,1:1,esotericshitting.jpg)

 No.82473 [Open Thread][Last 50 Posts]

The average person spends at least 45 minutes a day defecating. That's 11 days per year, or 2.5 years of your lifetime wasted on inefficient defecation. This is time that can be freed up for personal improvement activities such as meditation. Furthermore, improper defecation leaves you vulnerable to spiritual mischief. In this thread I will uncover the secrets of defecation taught to generations of professional alcoyotes.

The first rule is no premature shitting. Just as we eat when we aren't really hungry, getting fat, we shit before we need to. You should only shit when you have a properly full colon and the need is urgent.

The second rule is to have proper log formation. This is achieved by adding enough fiber to your diet, but not so much that you are constipated. The goal is a uniform, dense log that slides out nice and smoothly without leaving much of a mess. Ideally it would leave next to no mess on your anus. Proper exercise is also crucial to get your guts moving so they can digest properly, as is a good diet not too high in fat.

The third rule is haste. When you shit, push it out firmly and aim to empty your colon completely in a few seconds. If there is any "remainder" (there shouldn't be if you followed the second rule) rock bath and forth on the toilet and/or lift up to bounce up and down a little.

The fourth rule is position. Proper colonical orientation is a force multiplier. The squatting position is ideal, install specialized or trough-style toilets if possible, though squatty potty is also great.

The fifth and final rule is total sanitation. Toilet paper won't do. Try a bidet, incorporating morning defecation with your shower to clean your anus, or in a pinch sit on a sink and clean your anus with soap.

You now know the secrets to master shitting on your way to enlightenment.

70 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click [Open Thread] to view. ____________________________
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 No.134699

>>134697

What is unbelievable about that?

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 No.134703

>>82511

>>134406

baby wipes are bad for your plumbing & municipal sewage system, even when they claim to be flushable

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 No.142381

How do you cure hemorrhoids with wizardry?

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 No.142382

>>142381

Energy work on the root chakra.

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 No.142383

>>134697

I cannot believe this comment is over three years old

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File: bde0adc46a724b0⋯.jpg (25.34 KB,474x271,474:271,cia_gangstalking.jpg)

 No.141855 [Open Thread]

the cia is following you. your thoughts don't belong to you. there is a chip inside your head. do what they tell you to, or they'll track you down and rape you. the people around you are fake. they're all sleeper agents. your thoughts aren't yours. they're putting thoughts in your head. the cia has mind controlling technology that they stole from the aryan aliens living inside the earth. there is no such thing as a coincidence.

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 No.141856

It's just spirits and magic. The Feds aren't that powerful. They wish they were. Reality reacts to your thoughts if you have a soul. That's the way it's always been.

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 No.141857

>>141855

nigger

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 No.141858

from what i've gathered reading this board and materials linked on this board, the more you believe that this sort of stuff is happening to you, the more likely it is that it'll actually happen to you

so it's in your best interest to just disregard OP

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 No.142376

Whack…

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