>>13657037
my older bro and I had early morning paper routes.
he hated dogs for some reason, and had been bit a few times when younger. I'm pretty much a 'dog whisperer' and establish repour with any dog in seconds. Whateves
Anyways, he comes up with one of those silent dog whistles from somewhere. He blows it as we are riding bikes out, about 4.45Am, to our routes and Holy Fuck it musta woke every dog in town and WTF even knew there were that many fucking dogs. :)
Ride a few blocks till the Dog Riot seems to have faded and blows it again and HOLY FUCK, them dogs be barking up a storm. More like a Fire Storm because AFAIK once a bunch of dogs start barking at something, other dogs will hear the those dogs, and start barking and so one, even if they didn't hear WTF got the first group barking. Like pic rel, but different.
Soon, we picked a few "regulars", patrons who'd reliably react when my bro would "call out the hounds" as he put it. We never saw them, but had a good Mind's Eye concept. One woman had an operatic, passionate "ShuUuuuUUt ThEEeeeEE FUUuuuuUUuuUCK UuuuuP!" Madame is in fine voice tonight, as always, they say she a diva, but she always delivers to the audience…yes, technically is morning, but it feels more like very, very late at night, more than hour before hint of dawn.
Her counter-part, a gentleman who seemed to have a tortured soul and inner-demons, gave a staccato, Faulkneresque string of outbursts about "fuckin kill you! I killed you and I'll kill you again" punctuated by impacts maybe of thrown objects and things being broken.
We knew they'd make the perfect couple and tried to come up with a way to set them up. Barely a block and 1/2 apart, yet not knowing the other even existed. Such is life.
Finally, there was a U-shaped street off the main street that contained a Mexican slum. For reasons I still don't understand, culturally, its denizens would respond by LEANING on their car's horns. First one, then another, until a 1/2 dozen or more horns were blaring.
One fine morning, my bros starting laughing so hard he soft-crashed his bike trying to get off to take a piss out in the open of a major, but empty street. He started pissing on his bags and tried to take them off while still pissing and only managed to piss all over them. Cop car off in distance seemed to pause but moved on. All his subscriber's papers were a little moist that day.
With this sort of thing its important not to take it too far, and know when to "give it a rest". On Sunday mornings we'd deign the good town's people sleep in to 5:15 or even 5:30.
